Go ahead and tilt your mobile the right way (portrait). The kool kids don't use landscape...
Plans are one of the most ignored (and underestimated) steps in the essay writing process. Some people don’t do them simply because they don’t want to, some sacrifice them because they think they’ll run out of time, and some do ‘plans’, but in reality, they’re only a rough mental outline. Each of these situations place too many students time and time again in sticky situations come an English SAC or exam.
Why plans are essential for any good essay
They ensure that you can’t mind blank — it’s all on the paper in front of you!
They ensure that you always stay on topic.
Mental plans or not having a plan at all mean that you don’t have a true direction in which your essay is going. If you’re not sure where you’re going, well, how are you going to get anywhere?
They save you time in writing time.
Instead of wasting reading time, you’ve done most of your thinking right at the beginning of the SAC or exam, positioning you to do really well in your essay because you can focus on constructing some really juicy, coherent analysis in your body paragraphs, rather than remembering your basic points and/or making sure your essay is actually answering the question.
Let’s have a look at an essay topic that I’ve tackled in the past. This one is based on Kate Grenville’s The Lieutenant, a current VCE Year 12 English text. To learn more about themes, quotes, characters about this text, and to have a look at an essay topic breakdown, check out this blog post written by outstanding LSG tutor, Angelina!
“But a man could not travel along two different paths.” How does Grenville explore Rooke’s conflict of conscience in The Lieutenant?
Step 1: Highlight key words
In this case, I highlighted: the quote, "How", "Grenville", explore" and "Rooke's conflict of conscience".
Now, it may seem like I've just highlighted the whole prompt, and I understand why you might think that! However, each of the words highlighted convey something meaningful within the prompt. If you're ever unsure about what could be considered a key word, consider whether the prompt would have the same meaning without the word in question.
Step 2: Define key words
In this topic, the main phrase that needs defining is ‘conflict of conscience’. For me, this signals that we must consider morality and the weighing up of right and wrong, especially when tough decisions have to be made.
I’d also take a moment to analyse the quote. This essay prompt is quote-based, so it’s imperative that we discuss the quote and consider the meaning of the quote throughout our essay. For some more detailed info on how to tackle different types of essay prompts, check out this blog post.
Step 3: Start essay plan
Next, I’d start tackling the plan itself. Although it seems like the above steps would take a while, my real-life planning process only takes about 5 minutes. You certainly don’t have to write everything down and you certainly don’t have to make it make sense to anyone but yourself.
Personally, I like to format my plans in dot-point form. I write 1, 2, 3 for each of my body paragraphs and I leave a space underneath each so I can plan each paragraph.
First, I’ll just write rough topic sentences under each, so I can really step back and consider whether my plan of action for the essay’s body paragraphs will do a good job at answering the prompt itself. Again, these are only rough topic sentences — fancying them up will come during the essay writing phase.
Step 4: Important things to include in each paragraph
Once I’ve decided on what each of my body paragraphs will be about, I can them go into a bit more depth for each of them individually.
These are the elements that I include for each:
Ideas
Essentially, the points that I’ll argue and the reasoning behind the paragraph
Quotes
The evidence that I’ll be using to reinforce my point(s).
Literary devices/metalanguage
In Year 12, I made a conscious effort to include one literary device or metalanguage example per body paragraph in all of my English essays. This really set me apart from the rest of the state because, in reality, not enough students really focused on the language of their texts, which can really impress examiners.
Strategy: Colour-coded plans
My rough, five minute, colour-coded plan for this essay prompt
For me, using different colours in my plans helped me organise my thoughts, distinguish between them, and ensure that I had covered everything that I wanted to cover.
Obviously, you can come up with a colour system that works for you, but this is what I came up with:
Green = metalanguage
Red = quotes
Black/blue = everything else!
And that’s it — my four-step but five minute essay planning process. Don’t be afraid to modify this to make it work for you and your needs. However, definitely DO be afraid of not planning — it’s absolutely essential for any good essay.
Happy planning!
[Video Transcription]
Hey guys. I've been doing a load of essay topic breakdowns for you guys, and we've been looking at plans for them, so I thought I would actually show you how I actually do a real life plan, one that I would do on paper if I was preparing for a SAC or an exam, as opposed to the ones that I do on YouTube because the ones that I do on YouTube are slightly different. I definitely go into more detail than I normally would. But at the same time I still do use the same concepts as I would when I do read the steps on YouTube. So I'm going to go and show you that today. And before I actually do that, I just want to preface this and tell you guys why doing a plan is so important.
So I know that a plan is something that one, a lot of people just don't do, or two, they tend to sacrifice it if they feel like they don't have enough time, or three, they do a plan in their head, but they don't actually write it down on paper. Now, all of these things are pretty detrimental for you, especially because when you write a plan, it actually helps to secure you and ensure that one, you're not going to mind blank throughout your essay or let me rephrase that, if you do mind blank throughout your essay, you will still have a piece of paper in front of you telling you, "This is what you were thinking Lisa, just go and follow this method or what you've written down here." So that way you don't just get stuck in the middle of your essay and start having a freak out because you've forgotten what you were supposed to write.
Second thing is that it ensures that you don't go off topic. This is something that happens quite frequently. If you don't have a plan, then you have this idea of, "Oh, I'll write this and this", and then somehow halfway through an essay, halfway through a paragraph, you realize, "Holy crap, I have completely veered off the topic or this has gone completely in the other direction from what I intended. This is not what I wanted." So in order to prevent that from happening, just do a plan, please! You will find that it ends up saving you so much time and it just gives you that reassurance that you need in situations where there are so many unpredictable factors, like what prompts you're actually going to get. And your focus and attention should be more about developing those ideas, rather than having a mind blank in the middle of your essay and then having a little bit of a freakout as a result.
So I'm going to base this video on a previous essay topic breakdown in the past, and that is on Kate Grenville's The Lieutenant. I was going to say Lieutenant, because I always accidentally say that, but no, it is Lieutenant. Now, if you are not doing as text as always, don't stress about it because what I want you to take away from this video is how you actually do plans, the thinking that goes behind it and the formatting around it. So let's just get started.
The essay topic that we're doing today is, "But a man could not travel along two different paths." How does Grenville explore Rooke's conflict of conscience in The Lieutenant. So as always, my first step is I will highlight the keywords that I see inside the prompt. Keywords are different for everyone, but these are the ones that I think are most important.
Firstly, the actual quote itself, how Grenville, conflict of conscience. Pretty much in this case I could probably just highlight the entire thing, but for the sake of just defining some keywords, this is what I would do. So the next step is to define key words. I think the only big key word that I need to define here is conflict of conscience. And so to me, the conflict of conscience suggests internal conflict, which implies that we'll need to consider morality and the concepts of right and wrong, especially when a difficult decision must be made and sides need to be taken. So as you can see, I've written these words down next to the keyword and that will just help me ensure that I stay on topic or I stay in tune with what the keyword is about and I don't suddenly change my mind halfway through the essay.
Then what I'll do is, I will analyze the quote itself. So this is unique because this particular essay prompt has a quote inside it, but I'll have to think about, okay, where did I see this quote? Who might've said it and what might it mean? And I'll draw it down a few notes for that. Then I'll pretty much just go straight into my plan. Now, my plans I've written within five minutes, most of the thinking is actually done during reading time. So personally, I've always found that just writing dot points is completely fine. I don't need to go more beyond that. And I'll show you a few examples now of real life year essay plans that I did during that time. And as you can see, they are pretty much just scribbles and if anybody else was to look at my essay plans, they would have no idea what I'm talking about. But you know what, for me it makes complete sense and that's all that matters. You're not graded on your plan, so just go ahead and do it your way. You do you.
So what I'll do is I'll quickly dot down one, two, three, and these represent my body paragraphs. Then I'll just write down very quickly what the topic sentences will be. I don't actually write the full topic sentence itself, but I guess the essence of it, so the key things that I will mention in the topic sentence. By writing down the three topic sentences, this allows me to take a step back and look at the essay holistically and ensure that I am answering it the way that I want to. Then what I'll do is I'll move into each individual body paragraph and write down some things that I think are important for me to remember when I go ahead and write it. So I might write down a couple of ideas that I think are important. I will write down quotes that I think are essential to my discussion. And then what I'll do is I will throw in at least one literary device or a metalanguage that I think is important to discuss.
So in this case, in this first body paragraph, it's limited omniscient third person perspective. By throwing this in, I will ensure that I can show my examiner or show my teacher that I can go on that deeper level. I'll repeat this method with both paragraph two and three. Of course for you, you might need to write down more dot points. You can write fewer dot points, it's really just dependent on every individual. If you are somebody who needs to write down the quotes more, then go ahead and do that. But for me, a lot of the quotes will stick in my head. I just need one point just to bounce off, and then from there, I'm able to pull in all of the other quotes that are necessary.
You also notice that I do things in different colors. Now, I think this is a strategy that I implemented in order to make things a lot clearer for myself before jumping into an essay. So for example, for anything that's a metalanguage based, I'll write it in green. The whole purpose for that is to ensure that in every single body paragraph, I do cover some form of a literary device because that was always really important for me. I thought that it was one of the key things that helped me differentiate myself from other students. So if I took a step back from the plan and I looked at it overall, I could see, okay, there's a green color in every single body paragraph, done. I have ticked off that criteria.
I also used to write quotes in red as well. So red just helped me do the same thing. It helps me take a step back and go, "Yep, there's a bit of red in every single body paragraph. I'm definitely including quotes," which might sound pretty stupid, but it's just that little bit of reassurance that I think really makes that difference when it comes to a stressful situation.
That's pretty much it. It's just five minutes of your time, so we probably don't need to go into it in too much more detail than that. But as you can see from my essay plans, I'm quite minimal. I just keep things as short as possible because that's all I really need because a lot of the information is here, but I just need to reinforce it and ensure that it is concrete when it is on paper.
So for yourself, I would recommend that you start practicing your plans. You can try my method and see if that works for you, but over time, I'm sure that you'll come to find your own way of writing plans that work for you.
Next week I'm going to have another essay topic breakdown for you. Can you guess what it might be? If you want to take a stab, put it in the comment section below, but that's it for me in this week guys. I hope that was helpful for you, and don't forget plans are crucial to an amazing essay.
If you needed any extra help, then my mailing list is always available for you guys. I send out emails every single week just giving you new advice and tips for your studies, so I'll put that in the description box below for you to sign up. Other than that, I will talk to you guys next week. Bye!
Get our FREE VCE English Text Response mini-guide
Now quite sure how to nail your text response essays? Then download our free mini-guide, where we break down the art of writing the perfect text-response essay into three comprehensive steps.
Regardless of whether you’re writing a Text Response, Comparative, or even an Argument Analysis essay, it is easy to see the introduction as something inconsequential, that won’t change your overall mark. And as a result, far too many students view the intro as a mere convention of writing that simply needs to ‘tick off’ certain criteria before they get into the ‘meat’ of the essay. But, from my experiences in VCE English, I’ve found taking some time to write a concise, yet original, considered, and insightful intro (with a bit of flair when appropriate) can be hugely beneficial.
Why Your Teacher Says You Can’t Earn Any Marks in an Introduction
Everyone has heard it before:
You can’t win/lose marks in an introduction or conclusion
I’ll be the first to admit that in some ways, this is true. The purpose of a Text Response essay is to show an understanding of a text through analysis. So, it is natural that your essay is marked based on the quality of your analysis of the text. And, because very little of this analysis occurs in the introduction, it’s easy to think that an intro can’t influence or change your final mark. While this may be true in theory, the reality is that your introduction serves as a foundation for your analysis...and just like a house, without a solid foundation coming first the rest of your essay is more liable to be weak and fragile. In my mind, the introduction provides a basis for everything that you’re going to analyse in your body-paragraphs which can build upon the assertions you have made regarding the topic in your intro. In other words, the introduction sets the direction for your essay, which overall acts as a backbone allowing for a cogent argument to be presented in your piece.
How an Introduction Can Help You
Now that we have established how an introduction helps contribute to the overall cohesiveness of an essay, let’s have a look at how an intro can help you while you’re writing. Especially when writing under timed conditions, it can be difficult to produce a detailed plan which lays out the structure of an essay. Here's where your intro can be of great help. When considered carefully, your introduction can set the parameters within which your essay will be contained. In other words, your intro can define the scope of your essay, outlining which themes and characters you are going to explore, and most importantly what arguments you are going to posit throughout your script. This means that if you get lost, or go blank trying to figure out what you should write next you can refer back to your intro to find a sense of direction and regain a foothold in your essay and. In this way, the intro not only acts as a foundation for your body-paragraphs but also provides a blueprint for them which can guide you from point to point.
At the same time, although an introduction cannot explicitly earn you marks, I would argue that a quality introduction can help position your assessor to immediately categorise your essay as belonging in a higher mark bracket. At the end of the year, exam assessors have hundreds of scripts to mark. And the truth is, they will not dedicate more than a couple of minutes to read your essay. As such, if you can impress your assessor with a powerful opening, they are more likely to see your piece as one that should earn a high mark. The reality is that assessors can often tell a lot about an essay based on the quality of its introduction. Therefore, if you can write a 9-10/10 introduction, your assessor will already be leaning towards awarding you a mark in that range without even having read your body-paragraphs yet.
So, How Can You Write an Original Introduction That Doesn’t Sound Like Everyone Else's?
If there’s one thing English teachers and assessors hate, it’s reading essays that have been memorised and recited (though, if you absolutely insist, then here's a middle-ground option where you could use' templates'). What is crucial, then, is that from the very first line of your introduction you are responding directly and unswervingly to the topic. I would suggest trying to avoid starting with a cliche contextual statement in favour of a bold response to the topic.
For example, in response to the topic ‘Shakespeare’s Vienna is a world devoid of balance.’ I would try to avoid starting my introduction with a vague and easily memorisable statement such as...
‘Shakespeare’s Jacobean tragicomedy Measure for Measure explores the concept of balance in his extremest characters.’
Instead, a bold opening statement is preferable...
‘Whether it is in Vienna’s abject lasciviousness, Angelo’s ascetic self-governance, or even Isabella’s hyper-rectitude, Shakespeare’s conception of Vienna in Measure for Measure is one laced with problematic extremism.’
Consider opening with a quote which captures your take on the topic. In the Comparative task, most definitely try to avoid staring with the word ‘Both’, and instead consider shedding light on a theme or concept common to both texts.
For example, in response to the topic ‘Both Invictus and Ransom suggest empathy is key to creating unity.’...
Whether it is between African and Afrikaner or Trojan and Achaean, the capacity for human understanding is upheld as paramount to overcome societal fissures. After you have put forward a broad response to the topic in your opening sentence, your introduction can then proceed to ‘zoom in’ and offer more specific arguments. These specific ideas should essentially signpost the distinct arguments you are going to present in each of your body paragraphs.
‘One characteristic of high-scoring essays was recognition of the ways in which the ideas the student intended to discuss were connected.’
This means that the ideas you flag for discussion in your intro, should be logically connected to both the prompt and each other, and you should aim to outline these connections.
The specific ideas which you offer set the parameters for the rest of your essay, so it is a good idea to ensure that these insights take into consideration the implications of the key-terms of the topic, and attempt to take the topic further. This allows you to consider the text in a sophisticated and conceptual way while maintaining rock-solid links to the topic.
After you have ‘zoomed into’ the specific arguments you will be mounting in your essay, the final step is to ‘zoom back out’ and offer an incisive, and powerful overall contention which responds explicitly to the terms of the topic. We talk about this 'zoom in' and 'zoom out' technique in How To Write A Killer Text Response.
Ultimately, the introduction provides you with a great opportunity to show off to your assessors that you can write incisively, fluently, and with confidence.
We’ve explored themes, literary devices and characters and development amongst other things over on our After Darkness by Christine Piper blog post. If you need a quick refresher or you’re new to studying this text, I highly recommend checking it out!
Here, we’ll be breaking down an After Darkness essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy, a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in our How To Write A Killer Text Response study guide.
Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:
Step 1: Analyse
Step 2: Brainstorm
Step 3: Create a Plan
Let’s get into it!
The Prompt:
‘While Ibaraki clearly suffers the consequences of his actions, it is those closest to him who pay the highest price. Discuss.’
THINK
Step 1: Analyse
This is a theme-based prompt, and the keywords are: suffer, consequence, actions and highest price. You want to explore both the evidence that supports the statement and also any evidence that may offer a contradiction to the statement. From here you can find the definition of the keywords to help develop some questions to explore.
Step 2: Brainstorm
To suffer is to be affected by or subject to something unpleasant.
Is Ibaraki the only one who suffers? Who else suffers? Kayoko, Johnny, Stan, Sister Bernice.
How do characters deal with their suffering differently? Kayoko and Sister Bernice abandon their relationships with Ibaraki, Johnny becomes agitated and spiteful, Stan becomes depressed.
A consequence is a result of an action.
Are the consequences negative or positive? Johnny being outspoken in the internment camp angers the traditionalist Japanese, but creates a sense of kinship amongst the half-blood Japanese.
Can characters overcome these consequences or learn from them? Ibaraki eventually learns from his mistakes and grows as a result.
An action is the process of doing something, typically to achieve an aim.
Is it Ibaraki’s actions, or lack thereof that lead to consequences? It is often his silence and obedience that cause trouble. For example, not telling Kayoko about his work leads to the failure of their marriage.
Is it only Ibaraki who makes mistakes? Sister Bernice ignores her religion to confess her love for Ibaraki.
What are the factors that cause the characters to act in the way that they do? Ibaraki’s guilt and fear of authority and judgement prevent him from speaking up on multiple occasions.
Highest price refers to Ibaraki’s suffering being above all else.
Is this true? Ibaraki loses his dignity, his friends, his wife, his unborn child, his family, his job and his freedom. However, he does partially regain these.
Who suffers the most? Kayoko has a miscarriage and her marriage to Ibaraki fails. Stan is assaulted by other internees and is eventually killed by a guard. Johnny becomes an outcast in his community and is bullied by other internees.
At this point, you can begin to group your ideas and evidence from the text to support your claims.
Throughout the novel, Piper uses a variety of literary devices including dialogue, simile and foreshadowing to convey her message of every action having a consequence. The most prominent of these is her use of imagery and metaphor which she uses to illustrate Ibaraki’s guilt and the way it impacts his actions. However, the story is not only centred around Ibaraki. Piper also highlights that people will often face consequences no matter what decision they make. She does this through her use of foil characters (characters who are used to highlight a particular trait in another character). For example, Ibaraki’s fear and obedience are emphasised by the courage of Kayoko and Johnny Chang. These characters, alongside Ibaraki, face suffering as a result of their actions.
From these ideas, the main themes I am going to explore are what factors affect the character’s actions, and how the consequences of these actions can lead to negative, but also positive change.
Step 3: Create a Plan
Paragraph 1:
Whilst the novel centres around Ibaraki’s actions and their consequences, he is not the only character that makes mistakes and is forced to face the repercussions.
Paragraph 2:
It is not necessarily Ibaraki’s actions, but lack of action that often results in the suffering of those around him. Consider the reasons for his lack of action: his blind devotion to authority, his fear of judgement, his ongoing guilt and regret from previous situations.
Ibaraki’s lack of action acts as a perpetuating factor for the suffering of those closest to him, but it is not the only factor.
Paragraph 3:
Ibaraki may pay the highest price for his actions. The structure of the storyline to include a chapter from Ibaraki’s perspective years later indicates that these consequences have ultimately led to positive change.
EXECUTE
Now it is time to write the essay!
Set during the Pacific War, Christine Piper’s After Darkness explores the difficulties and misfortunes many face during wartime. Depicting the rise and fall of Japan’s war efforts (1), After Darkness highlights that all actions have consequences of varying severity, particularly those of protagonist Dr Ibaraki Tomokazu. Throughout the novel, Ibaraki’s lack of action perpetuates the suffering of those closest to him, however, this is shown to be one of many factors and often initiates positive change within him, allowing his character to develop. Fundamentally, After Darkness highlights that change can only occur if people face the repercussions of their actions. (2)
Annotations (1) In the introduction, it is important to introduce the text withcontext. As After Darkness is predominantly set in 1942 during wartime in both Japan and Australia, it is important to include this in the introduction in order to explore the essay topic with a complete understanding.
(2) Another key part of the introduction is to briefly introduce the topics you will discuss throughout the essay.
Throughout the novel, Piper emphasises the idea that all actions have consequences, however, this idea is not limited to Ibaraki. Across the three novel strands, protagonist Dr Tomokazu Ibaraki’s suffering as a result of his mistakes is depicted through both his internal and external dialogue. Ibaraki makes many significant mistakes throughout his lifetime, one of these being his failure to perform a dissection of a child when working at Unit 731. Despite ‘not [being] [him]self’ (3) when asked to perform the operation, Ibaraki is promptly fired. His termination of employment is not the only consequence of his failure, as shame continues to take over his confidence. This is illustrated when he was ‘unable to go on’ during an operation in Broome, despite being in a completely different scenario. Through Ibaraki’s flashback of ‘Black dots on a child’s belly’, Piper indicates the torment and lasting effects of consequences on an individual (4). Whilst the novel centres around his mistakes, it is revealed that Ibaraki is not the only character who is forced to face the repercussions of their actions. Despite acting as foils for Ibaraki and presenting many different qualities, Australian internees Johnny Chang and Stan Suzuki also struggle immensely to overcome the results of their behaviours. Johnny Chang’s outspoken nature is often shown to cause disruption among the camp, for example, labelling the imperialist Japanese as ‘emperor worshipping pig’s.’ In standing for his beliefs, Johnny creates a tense division within groups, leading to the half Australian internees being treated like ‘outcasts’. Conversely, Stan’s introverted behaviour results in his eventual death (5). Piper’s contention that all actions have consequences is arguably enforced strongly through Stan’s death, as it results from the failure of many characters to act. Ibaraki’s inability to open up, Johnny’s selfishness and Stan’s loss of self are inevitably all factors leading to his eventual demise. This is ultimately reinforced when Johnny states ‘It should’ve been me Doc’, indicating he has finally realised his role in the tragedy.
Annotations (3) In order toembed quotes, words, prefixes and suffixes can be added to ensure the sentence flows correctly. However, you must indicate that you have edited the quote by placing your changes in squarebrackets. Here, the original quote was ‘not myself’ but it has been changed to fit the sentence.
(4) Whilst it is important to include quotes, it is even more important that you analyse how the author uses the quote to convey a message. In this case, the example of one of Ibaraki’s many flashbacks is used to bear Piper’s belief that one cannot escape the repercussions of their actions.
(5)Comparison is a powerful way of exploring the author’s ideas throughout the text. Here, Johnny’s outspoken nature is contrasted with Stan’s ‘introverted behaviour’, yet both concede repercussions. This supports the idea that all actions have consequences, no matter their nature.
Ibaraki’s lack of action acts as a perpetuating factor for the suffering of those closest to him, however, it is not the only factor. After Darkness shows the faults in many of Ibaraki’s actions, suggesting his mistakes lead to the misfortunes of many of those around him but this is only partially true. Stan Suzuki’s death is a pivotal moment in the novel where Ibaraki begins to truly express his emotions and open up about the pain he feels (6). Ibaraki realises that he ‘could have done something’ when opening up to the investigators of Stan’s death, leading to the conclusion that Ibaraki is to blame. Piper illustrates that suffering results as a combination of factors through the later revelations of Johnny’s escape attempt and the instability of the ‘trigger-happy’ guard who shot Stan. This idea is reinforced through the breakdowns of Ibaraki’s close relationships with Kayoko and Sister Bernice. Whilst Ibaraki’s emotionally distant nature catalysed the loss of these significant relationships, it was not the only factor. Both Kayoko and Sister Bernice are structured with similar characteristics in the novel, one being their confidence and strength in their beliefs. Nevertheless, both women lack this characteristic when it comes to their relationship with Ibaraki (7). Ibaraki admits his separation from Kayoko is his ‘greatest regret’, and whilst the first-person perspective does not give an insight into Kayoko’s side, she is shown to lack her usual self-assuredness. Similarly, Ibaraki’s allowance of ‘silence [to] stretch between…’ him and Sister Bernice is hurtful and a failure on his behalf, yet she still willingly confesses her feelings, aware of the risks involved. This is evident when ‘her eyes dart away from [his]’, implying she is ashamed of her statement as it contradicts her religion and the terms of their work relationship and friendship. This results in an abrupt end to their friendship as the embarrassment of the repercussions of her actions overwhelm Sister Bernice. Whilst the series of mistakes that Ibaraki makes throughout the novel show that his actions cause grief for both him and the people around him, they also highlight that the misfortune of others is not always the fault of one individual.
Annotations (6) Referring to specific events in the text is extremely useful to support your ideas and claims. However, it is important that you avoid over-explaining the event, as this will lead to you retelling, rather than analysing the text. See How To Avoid Retelling the Story for more tips.
(7) An often-overlooked literary device is the use of foils. A foil is a character that is used to highlight a particular trait in another character, often a flaw. In this case, Piper uses the similarities between Kayoko and Sister Bernice, and the ultimate failure of their relationships. This highlights Ibaraki’s repetition of his mistakes, which we can attribute to his ongoing guilt.
Ibaraki ultimately pays the highest price for his actions; although this is shown to result in positive change. Through her descriptions of Australia and Japan, Piper uses the juxtaposition of light and dark imagery to illustrate how suffering can lead to learning and growth. Facing racism in Broome when labelled as a ‘Bloody Jap…’, trauma from his experiences in Unit 731 and hardship during his internment at Loveday, Ibaraki is constantly a victim of circumstance. Even so, the pressures and torment of these events force him to seek the support of others. The colourful descriptions of the ‘pink spur of land crested with green’ foreshadow the positive change to come for Ibaraki (8). This becomes evident when Ibaraki finally opens up to Stan in the infirmary about his separation from Kayoko. Ibaraki’s development as a character continues as he learns to trust despite the unfair circumstances of being interned. Although memories of trees haunting the river’s edge ‘like lost people’ and the bark of red trees appearing ‘like blistered skin’ continue to plague Ibaraki’s conscience, they force him to confront his past and in turn begin to heal. Through the retrospective novel, Piper describes Japan as where ‘darkness crowded the corners’ and Ibaraki worked ‘in the basement’, indicating his misguided obedience and attachment to silence. This not only illustrates (9) Ibaraki’s trauma, but emphasises his drastic development through his experiences. The importance of the consequences Ibaraki has faced throughout his lifetime are reinforced in the final pages of the novel after he reads Sister Bernice’s letter and has an epiphany. The discovery that he had ‘clung to the ideal of discretion’ creates a sense of hope for Ibaraki’s future and emphasises his newfound understanding of life through the consequences he has faced. (10)
Annotations (8) Ensure you don’t just randomly place quotes throughout the essay, but instead, analyse them to give them meaning. An easy way to do this is by including the quote, its connotations and what emotions or ideas they provoke, followed by why the author has used it. In this case, the quote was the ‘pink spur of land crested with green.’ Its connotations were positive such as colour, happiness, and hope. These connotations were used to foreshadow positive change.
(9) Using a variety of vocabulary such as ‘illustrates’, ‘explores’ and ‘demonstrates’ shows that you are not only identifying what the author is doing but that you understand how and why they have done it in this way. This is ultimately the goal of a text response essay.
(10) It is important to ensure the flow of your essay to show sophistication in your writing. It is not only the ideas you have, but the way in which you convey and explain them that ultimately indicates your understanding of the text. A simple way to do this is to use a summary sentence at the end of each topic that subscribes to the idea and links to the previous or following paragraph.
Essentially After Darkness highlights the necessity of facing consequences for our actions to promote learning and growth. Whilst Ibaraki and many other characters suffered as a result of their behaviour, Piper asserts that Ibaraki is not the overall perpetrator but ultimately pays the highest price of all. (11)
Annotations (11) Just like the introduction, the conclusion is a brief summary of the discussion topics throughout your text response. Most importantly, after exploring all of the evidence you must form a stance in relation to the essay topic. Many students believe that this needs to be a simple and definite yes or no, which is not the case. Instead, I have suggested that Ibaraki is not the only one to blame for other character’s suffering, but that ultimately, he paid the highest price. Check out 5 Tips for a Mic-Drop Worthy Essay Conclusion if you need more help finishing your essay off with a bang!
If you found this essay breakdown helpful, then you might want to check out our After Darkness Study Guide which includes 5 A+ sample essays with EVERY essay annotated and broken down on HOW and WHY these essays achieved A+ so you reach your English goals!
---
After Darkness is usually studied in the Australian curriculum under Area of Study 1 - Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out ourUltimate Guide to VCE Text Response.
William Wordsworth: Selected Poems by Seamus Heaney is usually studied in the Australian curriculum as a Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out our Ultimate Guide to Text Response.
---
Here, we’ll be breaking down a Wordsworth essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy, a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in How To Write A Killer Text Response.
Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:
Step 1: Analyse Step 2: Brainstorm Step 3: Create a Plan
Without further ado, let’s get into it!
The Prompt: ‘Come forth into the light of things, Let Nature be your Teacher’. Wordsworth suggests that people can learn much from their experiences in Nature. Discuss.
THINK
Step 1: Analyse
The first thing to note is that this is a mix between a quote-based and theme-based prompt (check out this blog if you’re not familiar with the 5 essay types), so I start by identifying key words in the prompt - ‘people’, ‘learn’ and ‘experiences’ are ones that spark interesting ideas for me.
I am able to identify the quote as being from ‘The Tables Turned’ which helps provide extra context.
The ‘discuss’ command term also tells me that the essay will focus more on balanced arguments in each paragraph, as well as the strengths and weaknesses of the primary statement.
Step 2: Brainstorm
With those key words identified, I need to think of different aspects/elements/themes in Wordsworth’s poetry they might be touching on.
People:
What sort of people? (Poets, rustics, people enamoured by the Industrial Revolution, adults, children).
Consider how they may perceive nature differently and what different things they can gain and learn from their experiences in nature.
Contrast a poet experiencing nature and how they could gain inspiration from the awe and emotions experienced, whereas someone corrupted by materialism could instead learn how to live a more moral life from nature.
Learn:
In what ways can people learn?
One could learn how to live more morally or elevate one's intellect by looking to nature.
Wordsworth refers to nature as a ‘teacher’ and the guiding role that he personifies nature to be.
This often is shown as a teacher/mentor or a maternal figure.
Looking to nature as a teacher could be transformative to the minds and lives of individuals.
Experiences:
Consider the various ways someone could experience nature.
Physical immersion
Mental recollection (relating to themes of the human mind and memory).
Spiritual/emotional connection (relating to the Romantic idea of transcendence and the awe of nature).
Since there are a lot of ideas here, I think it’s best to pick and choose the ones that complement each other well, cover a range of ideas and themes, and that I am most confident and comfortable discussing.
Step 3: Create a Plan
P1: It is through both the physical experience of nature and also the emotional experience in mental recollection that people can find not just knowledge and enlightenment, but also joy and comfort.
P2: Wordsworth also contends that the rampant destruction of nature through the Industrial Revolution risks severing man’s connection to nature, however, by continuing to look to nature as a guide and teacher, one can still learn to live a more virtuous life instead of one corrupted by the vices of industrialisation and materialism.
P3: While one can learn much directly from nature, one should also look to the child and childhood experiences for guidance on how to best perceive and learn from nature.
EXECUTE
Essay
The Romantic Era saw poets honouring nature with a pantheistic reverence, encouraging active immersion in nature for its capacity to guide and elevate the mind of the poet. In William Wordsworth: Poems Selected by Seamus Heaney (2007), Wordsworth recounts his experiences (1) in the natural world and reveals the joy this can bring, from both the immediate experience and greater solace gained from the recollection of memories in nature. Additionally, in light of the era’s increasing Industrialisation, Wordsworth draws upon mankind’s interaction with the natural landscape to lament over the degradation of morals while presenting nature as the antidote to mankind’s corrupted morals. Furthermore, the poet also focuses on the child’s experience and connection with nature as crucial to the development of one’s identity while also alluding to the more spiritual connection man has with nature. Thus, it isin this myriad of experiences - physical, mental, emotional and even spiritual - that one is able to find greater meaning in existence and a guide to a more moral way of living.
Annotations
(1) I explicitly used the key words from the prompt as soon as I could, which helped indicate to the examiner the relevance of my essay to the prompt, and also ensured that my arguments really focused on the prompt itself without deviating too far.
Wordsworth’s poetry often recalls the poet's experiences within nature, presenting these moments as invaluable to one’s life. (2). With glee and elation, the lyrical poem ‘I wandered as lonely as a cloud’ (1802) recounts one such occasion as the poet encounters a ‘host of golden daffodils…fluttering and dancing in the breeze’. The use of enjambment (3) here, with the soft rhyming scheme, creates a dreamlike flow to the poem, which mimics the gentle movement of the daffodils. The regular ABABCC rhyming scheme (4) also conveys the sense of astonishment the poet feels while in this moment of active immersion in nature, revealing the capacity of the beauty of the natural world to inspire joy from its ‘jocund company’. However, it is in viewing these moments in retrospect that Wordsworth suggests that one can gain greater value as it is these memories of ‘vacant or pensive mood…which is the bliss of solitude;/And then my heart with pleasure fills/And dances with the daffodils’ which reflects the Romantic view that moments of thoughtful solitude should be pursued in order to realise the greater value of the natural world. This notion of the value nature provides is also echoed in the ballad, ‘The Tables Turned’ (1798), which presents a debate between two characters, Matthew and William, on whether knowledge can be gained from books or experiences in nature. This debate encompasses the poet's desire to convey the Romantic ideal of the importance of knowledge gained from physical experiences rather than that found from books, evident from the speaker’s command to ‘quit your books’ in order to ‘Clear your looks’ and clear your mind to fully immerse in nature. The full rhymes convey a definiteness in this idea of indulging in these active experiences in nature, as there is ‘more wisdom in it’ which also rejects the Neoclassical views and values (5) on learning from books and gaining knowledge through science rather than experiences. Furthermore, Wordsworth also argues (6)that nature is a more enjoyable teacher as reading is called a ‘dull and endless strife’ and he argues that one should ‘Let nature be your Teacher’ guiding you to the ‘sweet lore’ it can reveal. Ultimately, it is both the active experiences in nature and the recollection of the memories of these moments that Wordsworth suggests one should look to for knowledge, enlightenment and an elevated sense of joy and solace.
Annotations
(2) I tried to embed key words (or synonyms of these words) from the prompt in my topic sentence. This helped establish the overall idea(s) that I was going to discuss in the paragraph and helped me stay on topic.
(3 & 4) While it’s important to discuss quotes, don’t overlook the specific form and features of a poem. Make sure to touch on the intended effect of the form/features, and how they may relate to the poet’s views and values in relation to the prompt.
(5 & 6) I tried to link quoted evidence and analysis with context, specifically the views and values of the time in relation to Neoclassicism vs. Romanticism. This allowed me to address the ‘concerns and values’ aspect part of the VCAA English exam criteria. It was especially important to address both philosophies while analysing the poem so that I could consider the “debate” aspect of it - this ties back to ‘discuss’ from the prompt where a balanced argument is needed.
However, as Wordsworth draws attention to man’s interaction with nature in regard to society’s increasing industrialisation, he reveals (7) to the reader the capacity of man to be corrupted as he becomes enamoured by greed. In a horrific display of man’s capacity for violence, the narrative poem ‘Nutting’ (1798) depicts a young boy with ‘eagerness of boyish hope’ coming across a ‘dear nok’ and ‘virgin scene’. The personification (8) of this natural scene - which is symbolic of nature as a whole - as feminine reflects the traditional ideas of feminine innocence and presents nature as something pure when untouched by human hands. However, it is then the boys’ ‘merciless ravage’ of the nook that leaves it ‘deformed and sullied’ which reveals the extent of man’s capacity to inflict violence. Additionally, the connotations that ‘ravage’ implies with regards to sexual violence only further the horror of the ruin done to the ‘virgin’ landscape. Additionally, the narrative form (9) itself which reflects fairy-tale elements highlights the allegorical elements of this poem which reveals its purpose to convey a moral lesson and warning against mankind’s destruction of nature with industrialisation. Additionally, the young boy’s horrific acts of violence against nature reflect the way in which society’s increasing avarice acts as an all-encompassing driver of corruption that tarnishes humanity’s innocence and morals. (10) However, in spite of the degradation of man’s morals, Wordsworth continues to look to nature as a moral guide. His ode, ‘Lines Composed a Few Miles Above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the Barks of the Wye During Tour’ (1798) serves as a culmination of the poet’s praises of nature's capacity to be a teacher of virtues to man. The specificity of the title conveys the poet’s desire to preserve these ‘spots of time’, which he views as invaluable to the recollection of memories, and emphasises the ability of these memories of nature to resonate with people despite the passage of time. In this poem, Wordsworth reveals how the ‘heavy and weary weight/of all this unintelligible world’ can wear down one’s mind and lead to a detachment from man and nature as he denies more materialistic objects and fulfilment. The ‘ea’ assonance conveys the sheer burden that day to day life presents. However, the poet persists that nature can act as an ‘anchor’ and ‘guide’ that not only teaches but inspires man to live a ‘good man’s life’ in spite of the weariness of living. Hence, while Wordsworth laments, he also enlightens the reader on how man’s experiences and rampant destruction of the natural landscape reveal mankind’s capacity to be corrupted by vices; that it is ultimately nature that remains an antidote against society’s corruption and a teacher that inspires the pursuit of a more moral way of living.
Annotations
(7) Another nod to authorial intent.
(8) Touching on Wordsworth’s use of personification when discussing this prompt was especially vital when considering the ‘teacher’ aspect. Often in his poetry, nature is depicted broadly as a mentor/teacher figure or more specifically as a maternal figure. It’s really important to explicitly identify the metalanguage being used, and also the effect and possible intention behind it.
(9) Don’t overlook the importance and potential effect the chosen form may have, especially when it comes to poetry collections that feature several different ones. Make sure you’re not just familiar with different forms of poetry but know the forms of each poem you study and what the intended effect of choosing that specific form might’ve been.
(10) Typically, I aim to discuss 2 poems in each body paragraph. 1 could work if it’s a longer one with lots to unpack, but 3 may risk a lack of depth in your discussion of each poem. If you’re struggling to fit in 2, consider having a main poem that you spend most of your discussion on and a supplementary poem that you could add in to support your discussion. Make sure you choose poems that relate together in some way (theme, ideas, values, etc.) but still offer something different to your analysis to create a more nuanced and complicated response to the prompt.
Furthermore, through Wordsworth’s explanation of the Romantic concept of Transcendentalism, it is revealed that it is actually the child and childhood experience that one should look to for guidance on how to approach living and experiencing nature. Wordsworth’s ‘Ode: Imitation of Immorality and Recollection of Childhood’ (1807) unpacks the concept of (11) Transcendentalism and that children contain an innate goodness bestowed by divine entities. This is made evident by the religious imagery used as Wordsworth laments man ‘forgetting the glories he hath known,/And the imperial palace where he came’; he mourns the loss of childhood innocence as one ages with time. The euphemism of ‘Imperial Palace’ for God elevates the status of nature as a symbol of guidance as it reflects the poet’s more pantheistic belief that God is found in nature. The poet laments this loss of childhood innocence as he conveys his belief that the child is the ‘Mighty Prophet’ and a ‘seer bliss’ in his ability to perceive nature differently from how adults do. As the child ages, he loses this capacity to fully experience nature with that innocence and thus, with altered perception, the capacity for one to learn from nature is diminished. This idea is explored by Wordsworth as he echoes Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s (12) belief that ‘childhood has ways of seeing, thinking and feeling perception’ that allows them to take advantage of this knowledge that nature gives. Thus, through the further religious imagery of the child being a ‘seer’ and ‘prophet’ it encourages one to look to and maintain that childhood innocence. Additionally, beyond looking to the child itself for guidance, Wordsworth also suggests that it is childhood experiences of nature that have the capacity to both inspire and teach invaluable lessons. This is evident from his epic poem, ‘The Prelude or growth of the Poet’s mind’ in which the speaker recounts how events in his childhood had revealed moral lessons to him. In this poem, nature acts as a ‘server intervention’ against the speaker's pursuit of ‘troubled pleasure’ as he steals a boat. The oxymoron of ‘troubled pleasure’ conveys a complex mix of feelings the boy experiences as he rows out onto a lake. It is the sight of ‘the huge cliff/[riding] up between me in the stars’ that invokes a sense of awe from both admiration and fear of nature, causing his ‘trembling hands’. The image of nature’s grandeur causes the ‘series thoughts’ that leave his mind in ‘black desertion’ for many days after. His reflection on this memory and his experiences of the extent of nature’s grandeur leads the boy to learn from his misdeeds and inspires a more moral life. Thus, through the explanation of the child and childhood, Wordsworth suggests that one should look to the child for guidance in how to perceive nature to the greatest capacity. It is also the childhood experiences of nature that are essential to the development of the child’s morals as nature acts as a teacher to a more virtuous life.
Annotations
(11) While using superfluous vocabulary isn’t necessary (and could even hurt your essay) be aware of key vocabulary that relates to the text, values/views of the poet and era. I’d even suggest creating your own vocab bank of such words like ‘pantheism’, ‘Transcendentalism’, etc.
(12) It’s worthwhile to include a quote from a figure related to Wordsworth, such as Seamus Heaney in the foreword/introduction of the collection or, in this case, Rousseau who was a Romantic thinker who influenced Wordsworth’s views. It can help show the marker/examiner your depth of knowledge while adding a unique piece of context to support your analysis.
Through the exploration of Wordsworth’s experiences in nature, he encourages one to learn how to look to nature as the ultimate source of guidance, joy and solace, and for the knowledge of a more fulfilling and morally lived life. However, through the depiction of man’s interaction with nature, his poetry highlights mankind’s capacity to stray away from the teachings of nature. The poet finds that if one were to continue to look to nature, that nature would be an antidote to corrupted morals. Furthermore, while nature is presented as a teacher and parental figure that nurtures the child in childhood, one should also look to the child as the ideal model of how to perceive nature in order to allow nature to teach humanity to the greatest capacity. Ultimately, it is these experiences in nature that have the capacity to reveal a greater meaning of existence, while also highlighting the challenges of life through Wordsworth’s interactions with the natural world. (13)
Annotations
(13) End your conclusion with an assertive statement, such as one that can comprehensively sum up the overall contention developed in your response. Do not end with a question. For more help with conclusions, see our blog post on 5 Tips for a Mic-Drop Worthy Essay Conclusion.
---
If you’re looking for more resources for Wordsworth Poetry, we have a whole other blog post just for you! We explore key features of Romantic Poetry such as nature, emotionalism and rebellion, and we also demonstrate stylistic and thematic analyses of Wordsworth poems. Check it out HERE.
The idea of VCE English assessments can sometimes be a bit daunting. Always so much you want to write, never as much time as you need and they always seem to come around sooner than you think. But there is never as much cause for alarm as you think and I’m willing to guarantee that almost everyone reading this is so much better than they think at English.
You’ve already come so far from where you started in your high school English journey. I’d like to challenge anyone reading this to go and find the earliest English essay you’ve got tucked away somewhere. I’ve done this myself and, if yours is anything like mine, you’ll be almost disgusted by what you find. Year-7-me just loved to retell the story, cling to my rigid TEEL formulas and leave my quotes just dangling, write the same basic paragraph three times and call it a complete essay. Not a pretty read and I’m sure a couple of you can relate. But, this exercise does at least prove a very valuable point: you are capable of improving at English.
So let’s start thinking about that essay you’ve got coming up again. You’ve just given yourself a nice confidence booster with that walk down memory lane, reminding yourself that you are a more-than-capable English student these days. But all you now want to do is your very best for this next essay. But how do you keep improving between now and then? After all, if you knew what you had to do to improve your English, you’d already be doing it, right? So what we’re going to do now is to have a look at what taking your essays to that next level really looks like; how you can improve your writing between now and then, whenever that might be.
So to do this, we’re going to take an already good paragraph and improve it together. Take this one, one that I conveniently prepared earlier to a Station Eleven prompt that has to do with the theme of memory/history.
Part 1: The Good Paragraph
Q: Mandel shows the importance of remembering the past. To what extent is this true?
A: In Station Eleven, the characters often find meaning from the creation of enduring legacies. Mandel demonstrates this idea through the naming of Jeevan’s son after his brother, Frank. By creating such an enduring legacy for a character who believes in the power of such legacies - 'they’re all immortal to me' - Mandel implies that characters like this are able to achieve meaning and fulfilment by preserving these legacies. Mandel also uses the character of Miranda to highlight the importance of legacies to provide meaning where Miranda lacks it in her day-to-day life. Even though Miranda’s life is left incomplete by her sudden death, the beauty in the scene of her death suggests that a sense of fulfilment has been achieved despite the emptiness of her life relative to other characters: 'its extravagant sunsets and its indigo sea'. Hence, the meaning in her life comes from the legacy that she creates from the art she makes in her 'independent' life. This is contrasted against the character of Arthur, whose legacy does not influence any events in the post-flu world, because of his failure to create legacy or meaning beyond his day-to-day life. Further, Arthur’s death in the hectic Elgin Theatre has far less beauty than that of Miranda, implying less fulfilment in his life. Therefore, Mandel uses her text to demonstrate the value of creating legacies that allow others to remember the past.
Let’s call this our good paragraph. I’ve modelled this off of an essay I found from my Year 10 self, as happy as Year-10-me would have been with this performance, it’s far from perfect. But, it is a very functional paragraph that does all that a paragraph really needs to do. It introduces an idea, justifies it with evidence, links back at the end and doesn’t waste too much time retelling the story. So now we get to the fun bit: we’re going to take this already good paragraph, and turn it into a better paragraph.
So how do we make a good paragraph better?
Well, for a start, we can integrate our quotes so that the paragraph reads better. You’ll see in just a second how much of a difference this can make. This is something I learnt to do between Years 10 and 11. Other improvements that could be made include answering the prompt more directly and using some of the language of the prompt within our answers. So let’s change this and see now what these small differences do to our paragraph.
Part 2: The Better Paragraph
Q: Mandel shows the importance of remembering the past. To what extent is this true?
A: In Station Eleven, the characters often find meaning from the creation of enduring legacies that allow others to remember the individuals who came before. Mandel demonstrates this idea through the naming of Jeevan’s son after his brother, Frank. By creating this symbolic memorial for a character who believes that such legacies can allow individuals such as actors to become 'immortal', Mandel implies that characters like this are able to achieve meaning and fulfilment through their legacies. Furthermore, Mandel also uses the character of Miranda to highlight the importance of creating a legacy through one’s art to provide meaning where Miranda lacks it in her day-to-day life. Although abruptly killed off in the middle of the text, Mandel imbues her death with a certain beauty through its 'extravagant sunsets and indigo sea'. In doing so, Mandel provides a sense of completion about Miranda’s life and suggests that a sense of fulfilment has been achieved despite the emptiness of her life relative to other characters. Hence, the meaning in her life comes from the legacy that she creates from the art she makes in her 'independent' life. This is contrasted against the character of Arthur, whose legacy does not influence any events in the post-flu world, because of his failure to create legacy or meaning beyond his day-to-day life. Further, Arthur’s death in the hectic Elgin Theatre has far less beauty than that of Miranda, implying less fulfilment in his life. Therefore, Mandel uses her text to demonstrate the importance of creating legacies that allow others to remember the past.
There we have it. The paragraph has been rewritten based on the ones I wrote in Year 11 and we have the first signs of improvement. The topic sentence now references the ‘remembering the past’ aspect of the prompt. The linking sentence now uses the ‘importance’ part of the prompt. All of the same quotes are used but are now integrated (check out How To Embed Quotes in Your Essay Like a Boss if you need more help with this).
We’ve made sure not to have more than one sentence starting with Mandel (a small nitpick but still a nice addition). It flows better. It answers the prompt more directly and suddenly we have a better paragraph. Year-11-me has shown improvement and with this comes better scores and more confidence: something that’s very important for success in English. If you’re confident and proud of what you’re writing, then you’ll have higher marks and, even better, more fun!
We haven’t changed much and the paragraph is already better. But it’s not my best paragraph. Between Years 11 and 12, I learnt even more things. I was taught to write about not only the world of the text but also the world around us that we and Mandel live in: you’ll notice that this better paragraph talks more about ‘characters’ that live ‘in the text’ whereas my best paragraph would talk more about the text in the context of the world you and I live in. I learnt to make my topic sentences more abstract and broad so that they relate more to our own world and less to the world of the text and remind whoever’s assessing that my ideas apply to everyone and not just within the texts. I learnt to respond more directly to different types of prompts (Discuss, To what extent is this true?, How does Mandel… and others) and I learnt to be more direct in discussing the views and values of Mandel (what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what she wants to see more of in the world)
So let’s apply some final changes, and see what our paragraph looks after two more years of refining English. This final paragraph is almost exactly the same as one I wrote in timed conditions before my final exam.
The Final Part: The Best Paragraph
Q: Mandel shows the importance of remembering the past. To what extent is this true?
A: Mandel explores the importance of legacies, not only as sources of meaning for their creators, but also for their roles in allowing others to remember the roles of those who came before. Such an idea is explored through the naming of Jeevan’s son, securing the legacy of Frank. By affording such a permeating influence to an individual who writes of and appreciates the 'immortal[ity]' of long-dead actors, Mandel implies that an appreciation of the inherent value in a legacy and its ability to influence future events is a key quality in individuals. Furthermore, Mandel uses the character of Miranda to highlight the importance of creating a legacy that outlives oneself to provide meaning. Although abruptly killed off in the middle of the text, Mandel imbues her death with a certain beauty through its 'extravagant sunsets and indigo sea'. In doing so, Mandel provides a sense of completion about Miranda’s life and suggests that a sense of fulfilment has been achieved despite the emptiness of her life relative to other characters. Hence, Mandel suggests that the meaning in Miranda’s life comes from the legacy that is the art she makes in her 'independent' life that continues to influence events and allow others to remember the past long after her death. Mandel provides contrast through her exploration of Arthur, whose legacy does not influence any events in the post-flu world because of his failure to create legacy or meaning beyond his day-to-day life. Further, Arthur’s death in the hectic Elgin Theatre has far less beauty than that of Miranda, reinforcing Mandel’s view that individuals who forfeit control of their own legacies, as Arthur does, lead far less completed and fulfilled lives. Therefore, Mandel highlights the immense importance of creating legacies that allow others to remember the past and encourages greater appreciation of the value of legacies in contemporary society.
So, two years later, and we’ve got what is still essentially the same paragraph, just brushed up to an even better, or best, standard. So if we’re using the same evidence, exploring the same characters and introducing the same ideas, why is this paragraph better than the last two?
Well, if you study the topic and linking sentences, they discuss the concept of a legacy being a means of allowing others to remember the past and the importance of such a thing and everything in-between links this concept to the text. 'Mandel highlights the immense importance' represents a subtle but nice nod to the wording of the prompt by giving an ‘extent’ to which Mandel ‘shows’ or highlights. Every piece of evidence is discussed in reference to what Mandel believes about the world around us and how individuals should act in modern society.
And there’s something very nice that we can now reflect on. This paragraph has gone from good to much better without having to introduce any new ideas. There are no overly complex interpretations of the text, we’ve just taken the same skeleton of a paragraph and made it look better without changing its real substance.
And one of the wonderful things about making efforts to improve the quality of your writing is all the confidence that comes with this, whether this be from getting better at discussing views and values, learning to integrate your quotes or any achievement like this. I know that my confidence surged as my English got better and, as I got more confidence in my writing, I got more confidence in what I wrote about. My interpretations of the text became more and more obscure and a bit whacky at times and I had fun writing about these things. If you improve your writing, you’ll improve what you’re writing about which will mean you’ll have more fun writing and the cycle of improvement will just continue.
So to cap off, I thought it might be nice to have a checklist of sorts that you might be able to put against your own writing.
What’s the next step I could take in improving my English?
Are all my quotes properly integrated? (Hint: if the sentence doesn’t make sense without quotation marks, the answer is no)
Have I got more than a couple of sentences starting the same way or could I vary my sentence structure a bit more?
Have I explicitly used some parts of the prompt in my own writing so that I can directly answer the question in my essays?
Are my topic and linking sentences describing a concept that relates to the prompt with everything in-between relating this concept to the text? (I found this a very useful way of thinking of paragraphs)
Is all of my evidence being discussed in relation to the views of the author?
Does my essay/paragraph explain what the author would like to see more of/less of in modern society based on what is explored in the text?
Is my essay/paragraph specific to the exact wording and type of prompt?
And these are just some of the improvements that could be made. I’m sure each of you could ask teachers and past students and find many, many more tips on improvement. Just as long as you’re thinking about what the next step in your English might be, then you’re already headed in the right direction. So good luck and happy writing!
Themes, motifs and symbols are different kinds of narrative elements - they’re parts of a story that help to shape its overall effect. However, even though they’re words we use all the time in our English studies, it isn’t always easy to tell the difference!
This post will take you through some definitions, give you some examples and show you how you can use them in essays too. Let’s start with the broadest of the three…
What Is a Theme?
A theme is an idea or a subject that an author wants to explore. Themes appear throughout a work, and they’re often abstract ideas rather than concrete images that you can explicitly identify. Themes usually appear in interactions: for example, a parent reuniting with a child might evoke the theme of parenthood or family, an experience of discrimination might evoke the theme of prejudice or racism, a character facing a difficult choice might evoke the theme of morality or conflict, and so on. As you might be able to see, themes can require us to read between the lines because they are usually implied.
What Is a Motif?
A motif is something a bit more specific. Rather than an abstract idea, we’re looking for a concrete object (usually physical items, but also potentially sounds, places, actions, situations or phrases) that returns time and time again throughout a text. This repetition of motifs helps to create structure for a text - it can tether parts of the story to or around a central image. Because motifs are often linked to a theme, they can also serve as a reminder of that theme’s importance. For example, if the central theme was family or parenthood, the author might create a bird’s nest outside a character’s room; as we watch the bird and the chicks grow throughout the text, parallels are also drawn back to the theme.
What Is a Symbol?
You can think of symbols as motifs minus the repetition. It’s the more default word we use when referring to an object that represents an idea, and unlike a motif, symbols only need to appear once to have an impact. They can simply tell us more about a character or situation in that instant, at that specific time, rather than being a parallel or recurring throughout a text. However, they’re still identified in a similar way to motifs: symbols are also concrete objects and they’re still connected to themes.
Examples of Themes, Motifs and Symbols
Here are some text-specific examples for a closer look at these terms:
Themes usually come across in interactions, and a possible first step to identifying them is thinking about if an interaction is good or bad, and why. For example:
In Rear Window, one of the neighbours berates everyone else for failing to notice their dog’s death.
This is a bad interaction because:
a dog dying is never any good
it tells us that none of these neighbours are looking out for or really care about each other
someone may have killed the dog
The theme we might identify here is duty. The film might suggest that we have a duty to look out for our neighbours (without sacrificing their privacy) or to do our part to keep the neighbourhood safe from potential criminals.
Another example might be:
In The Great Gatsby, the Sloanes invite Gatsby over for dinner without really meaning it.
This is a bad interaction because:
it tells us how nasty the Sloanes are
Gatsby still seems to be a misfit despite his wealth
Tom is at best complicit in the Sloanes’ insincerity
The themes here might be society, wealth and class. This interaction shows us where these characters really stand with regard to these categories or ideas. Because he is ‘new money’, Gatsby cannot understand or fit in with the cruel and disingenuous customs of ‘old money’.
Most interactions in a text will fit into a theme somewhere, somehow - that’s why it’s been included in the story! Try to identify the themes as you go, or maintain lists of interactions and events for different themes. Because themes are so broad, they’re useful for guiding your understanding of a text, particularly as you’re reading it. They also provide a great foundation for essay planning since you can draw on events across the text to explore a certain theme.
Identifying and Using Motifs & Symbols
While themes can generally appear in texts without the author needing to make too much of an effort, motifs and symbols have to be used really consciously. A lot of interactions might just be natural to the plot, but the author has to take extra care to insert a symbol or motif into the story.
To identify either, pay attention to objects that might feel unusual or even unnecessary to the scene at first - from the examples above, Gatsby showing Daisy his shirts might seem like a strange detail to include, but it’s actually an important symbol in that moment. Then, you go into the brainstorming of what the object could represent -in this case, Gatsby’s newfound wealth. Symbols in particular often appear at turning points: the relationship between two characters might take a turn, an important sacrifice might be made or perhaps someone crosses a point of no return - all of these are potential plot points for the author to include symbols. For motifs, look more for repetition. If we’re always coming back to an image or an object, like Daisy’s green light or Lisa Fremont’s dresses, then it’s likely that image or object has significance.
Symbols and motifs can be more subtle than themes, but they will also help to set your essay apart if you find a way to include them. You’d usually include them as a piece of evidence (with or without a quote) and analyse what they tell us about a theme. For example:
On the surface, Gatsby appears to be financially successful. Over several years, he has acquired many material belongings in order to demonstrate his great wealth. For example, Fitzgerald includes a scene featuring Gatsby tossing his many ‘beautiful’ shirts onto Daisy, who sobs as she admires them. This display of wealth represents the superficial natures of both characters, who prize material belongings over the substance of their relationship.
You don’t need a quote that’s too long or overpowering; just capture the essence of the symbol or motif and focus on what it represents. This is a really good way to show examiners how you’ve thought about a text’s construction, and the choices an author has made on what to include and why. To learn more about text construction, have a read of What Is Metalanguage?
We've explored themes, characters, literary devices and historical context amongst other things over on our Women of Troy by Euripides blog post. If you need a quick refresher or you’re new to studying this text, I highly recommend checking it out as well as ourUltimate Guide to VCE Text Response.
Here, we’ll be breaking down a Women of Troy essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy, a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in our How To Write A Killer Text Response study guide.
Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:
Step 1: Analyse Step 2: Brainstorm Step 3: Create a Plan
Without further ado, let’s get into it!
The Prompt: ‘“We are loot my son and I, soldiers’ plunder.” Discuss how Euripides highlights the plight of women taken as slaves in war.’
THINK
Step 1: Analyse
The first thing to note about this prompt is that it is a 'how’ question, it is essentially asking us to identify the literary techniques Euripides has employed in order to ‘highlight’ the women’s ‘plight’. The noun ‘plight’ is defined as a troublesome or unfortunate situation, yet we must consider this word in the context of war. How do the women suffer? In other words, how does Euripides demonstrate to his reader just how dejected the women are as slaves?
Step 2: Brainstorm
It is relatively simple to identify the literary techniques which consistently appear throughout Euripides’ play, such as imagery, metaphor and simile (not entirely sure what literary techniques are? We have a list of them for you here). However, keeping in mind we have to form three paragraphs, we should consider Euripides’ authorial voice more broadly. For example, the women consistently lament their disillusionment with the gods. This is not a literary technique in itself, but it is still a literary choice which Euripides has made and which has been deepened with more specific literary devices like metaphor. The same could be said for the women’s struggle for hope, and the contrast between their joyous pasts and dismal futures.
Step 3: Create a Plan
Unlike a ‘to what extent’ question, we do not have to form an argument. Instead, we must forge a discussion of Euripides’ literary decisions as a playwright.
P1: Euripides juxtaposes the triumphant pasts of the Trojan women with their tragic futures. The 'shining citadels of Troy' are now a 'black smokened ruin’.
P2: Euripides illuminatesthe women’sattempts to retain futile hope. Note that hope also comes in the form of revenge.
P3: The dramatic irony of the play renders the women’s desperate calls upon the gods all the more tragic. Here, we can also make reference to the prologue, and Athene’s ploy to create a storm on the Greeks’ journey home which also ultimately affects the women.
EXECUTE
Essay
At the heart of the conflict in The Women of Troy, lies the anguished 'suffering' (1) of the Trojan women as they confront their fates as 'slaves', and remember their pasts as wives and mothers. In his tragedy, first performed in Athens circa 415 BCE, Euripides amplifies the conflicted voices of the Trojan women, voices which are by contrast suppressed and disregarded in the Homeric worksthe Iliad and the Odyssey. Euripides’ stark dichotomy between the glories and 'rituals' of the past, and the sombre 'grief' of the present, elucidate the magnitude of their losses, both material and moral. For as Andromache laments, these women have been objectified as 'loot', mere spoils of war to be abused and exploited. (2) The women’s tendency to clutch onto chimerical (3) hopes and values only serves to further illuminate the profundity of their suffering once these ambitions have been brutally quashed in the 'dust' of their 'smoke blackened ruin' of Troy. Perhaps most significantly, Euripides juxtaposes the lingering though pitiful hope of the women with the gods’ complete 'desert[ion]' of Troy, positioning the women in an ironic chasm of cruel abandonment. Thus, the plight of women as wartime captives is dramatised by Euripides, corralling the audience into an ultimate stance of pity and empathy.
Annotations: (1) It is often useful to embed short/one word quotes in your essay (we teach you how in How To Embed Quotes in Your Essay Like a Boss). It shows you have a great understanding of the text, and reads fluidly as opposed to overly long quotes.
(2) Here, I have addressed the quote in the prompt in a single sentence, unpacking Euripides’ analogy of Andromache and Astyanax as ‘loot’. By comparing the two characters to war spoils, he is suggesting that they have been stripped of their free will and autonomy.
(3) It is really important to vary your vocabulary in order to increase the sophistication of your essay. The adjective ‘chimerical’ refers to an ideal which is impossible to achieve.
Euripides’ juxtaposition between the dismal future of the Trojan women and the zenith of their pasts, further illuminates the chasm of their sufferings and losses as the ultimate victims of wartime atrocities. Chiefly, Euripides contrasts Hecuba’s former royal status with the demoralizing fate of her captivity, encapsulating this tragic fall from nobility with the ironic imagery, 'throned in the dust’. Yet perhaps what truly emphasises her plight as a slave is her enduring role as a maternal figure of leadership, encapsulated in her regard of the chorus as '[her] children' and her reciprocated address as 'dear queen' and 'your mother'. Despite the 'death agony' she feels, she chooses to maintain her nobility through the depth of her morality, dramatizing the pitiful nature of her plight (4). Moreover, Euripides’ juxtaposition between the 'shining citadels of Troy' and the 'misery' of the chorus elucidates the significance of 'home', a source of solace which has been barbarically stripped away from them. Likewise, Andromache laments her past as a dutiful and faithful wife, contrasting her fidelity against her fate as a 'concubine' to the formidable Neoptolemus (5). Euripides implies that Andromache must abandon her reputation as the 'perfect wife' – the very attribute for which she was chosen especially – doomed to confront a life of sexual slavery, an unwilling mother of Neoptolemus’ children.
Annotations: (4) Here, I have used the word ‘plight’, making sure I am engaging directly with the prompt. It is often easy to fall into the trap of creating a generalised essay which only loosely adheres to the question.
(5) It is more sophisticated to specify the name of Andromache’s husband (Neoptolemus), rather than to just simply state ‘Andromache’s husband’ (even though he is not featured as a character in Euripides’ play).
Euripides (6) characterises the women by their tendency to clutch on to 'hope[s]' and ideals that are impossible to fulfil. Almost a coping mechanism of sorts, the chorus paradoxically romanticise the Greek landscape in the first episode, lauding the 'sacred halls', 'green fields', 'beautiful river[s]' and 'wealth' of Hellas. Yet, their ardent critiques of their future 'home[s]' rejects any notion that the women truly believe these glorifications of the Greek realm. Similarly, Hecuba is motivated by her futile hope that Astyanax may one day seek vengeance and be 'the savior of Troy' by 'rebuild[ing]' the city. Yet tragically, this doomed hope is violently quashed by Odysseus 'blind panic' and acute lack of rationality: the 'liar' and 'deceiver' who 'lead the Greek council' in their debate. Though this hope initially provides her with some form of solace, all comfort is dashed with the announcement of his 'butchery'. Likewise, Cassandra is motivated by her own pursuit for revenge, lauding her 'sacred marriage' to Agamemnon as an event worthy of 'praise' and 'celebration'. Yet her hope is also jaded, for she must in the process 'flout all religious feeling' as a slave of Agamemnon’s 'lust', until she meets her painful hour of death at Clytemnestra’s hands.
Annotations: (6) Notice that several of the sentences have begun with ‘Euripides characterises’ or ‘Euripides illuminates’, engaging with the ‘how’ part of the prompt. We are showing what the author has done and why.
Ironically, Euripides illuminates the plight of the Trojan women through his dramatic elucidation of the gods’ callous abandonment of the ruined Troy. Euripides juxtaposes the past 'rituals', 'dances', 'songs', 'sacrifices', 'offerings' and 'ceremonies' of the chorus with their bitter laments that 'the gods hate Troy' and that they are ultimately characterised by avarice. They are neither answered not consoled in their ultimate time of mourning, for the audience is aware that Poseidon has fled the scene in the prologue, disillusioned by the 'ceas[ing]' of 'worship', leaving 'nothing (…) worth a god’s consideration' in the fallen city. What is also rendered ironic by Euripides, is Athene’s formidable ploy to 'make the Greeks’ return home a complete disaster.' Regardless of Athene’s true motives for instigating this ultimate pursuit of comeuppance, the fact remains that the women too must endure this perilous journey to Greece. Not only are the despairing wives, mothers and daughters condemned to 'abject slavery' on foreign soil, they are 'innocent: victims who may – alongside the Greeks – find themselves on the shores of Euboea, among the 'float[ing] (…) corpses' of the Greek soldiers. They are not simply abandoned by the gods, they are, directly or indirectly, punished. (7)
Annotations: (7) This is a more original point which other students may not automatically think of. We often view Athene’s ‘ploy’ as a deserved punishment of the ‘murderous’ Greeks, yet there is no true justice, for the women too are ultimately affected.
In a play which serves to fill the silence of the Trojan women in the legendary works of the Iliad and the Odyssey(8), Euripides augments the pitiful plight of the Trojan women with agonizing references to past 'happiness', and equally unbearable forecasts of their roles as 'slaves' of Greek lust. They are indeed 'loot' and they are indeed 'plunder' – as Andromache so bitterly laments – yet their plight is recorded in the works of 'poets' to come, remembered as a legacy of stoicism 'a hundred generations hence.' Taken as our 'great theme', these women are 'sufferer[s]', yet they are also heroes.
Annotations: (8) Just as I have done in the introduction, I have referred to the context of the play in the conclusion. The Iliad and the Odyssey provided the framework for Euripides’ play, so by referencing Homer’s works we are showing the examiner that we have an understanding of the historical context.
---
If you'd like to dive deeper into Women of Troy, check out ourA Killer Text Guide: Women of Troystudy guide. In it, we teach you how to how to think like a 50 study scorer through advanced discussions on topics such as views and values and metalanguage, we provide you with 5 A+ sample essays that are fully annotated and everything is broken down into easy-to-understand concepts so that students of all levels can understand and apply what we teach!!
As you all know, English subjects are integral to VCE studies, since it is compulsory that at least all four units of an English subject be done in order for you to reach that ATAR goal at the end of the VCE tunnel. Given the richness in cultural backgrounds of VCE students cohort, EAL is designed to mend the linguistic gaps between local students and those from non-English speaking backgrounds. Students eligible to complete EAL are those who have no more than 7 years residency in a predominately English-speaking country AND no more than 7 years having English as their main language of instructions. Therefore, it is generally considered ‘easier’ than mainstream English. So how exactly is this subject easier, or is this just some unproven prejudice? Let’s find out through my quick comparison between the two!
Purposes
According to the study design published by VCAA, both these English subjects ‘[contribute] to the development of literate individuals capable of critical and creative thinking, aesthetic appreciation and creativity…’ It might sound complex, but this basically just means that these subjects enable us to enhance our understanding and usage of the English language, which, in my opinion, serves to support our daily English communication. This purpose holds even greater significance to students from non-English speaking backgrounds, as those skills offered by English subjects are essential to their life in Australia. That’s said, EAL can be different from mainstream English in the sense that it also assists students whose mother tongue is not English in adapting to the predominately English-speaking community, via developing their language skills.
Structure
Both EAL and English assess students on multiple areas, including: Text response, Creative writing, Argument Analysis, Compare and Contrast, Presenting Argument. The only difference is in Unit 3, where EAL students are required to do a Listening task, whereas mainstream students study an additional text. Shown below is Unit 3 coursework for these two subjects (from the VCAA English/EAL study design):
ENGLISH
EAL
We can see that there is an extra outcome for Unit 3 EAL, which is ‘Comprehension of a spoken text’. This is where you will listen to two texts (twice each), take quick notes and fill in short-answers. Listening, therefore, is viewed by many as the least difficult compared to other tasks, because all you need to do is hear people speak English – something students do everyday. Yet it is absolutely not easy at all to attain a perfect score on this component! You have to pick up the right information from bunches of words, structure your response well so that the examiner understands what you try to convey, pay attention to paralinguistic elements (tone, volume, pitch…), etc. All of these skills can never be acquired without persistent practice.
In place of Listening component, mainstream English students get to do creative response to a different text. This is why Year 12 English students study a total of 4 texts (selected from VCAA text list), whereas it’s only 3 for EAL students.
VCAA has also noted down differences in the two subjects’ tasks conditions, as shown below:
End-of-year exam
Let’s have a look at another table:
Overall, they have similar components, except for the orange-shaded cells. Though EAL students do have a SAC on comparative analysis, this area is not assessed in their exam but replaced by the Listening task. Section C often has similar texts in both exams, with some modifications in language expression.
Both exams are to be done in 3 hours, non-stop! You’ll get quite weary I’m sure, but trust me, it will be followed by a sense of accomplishment to see all your hard work paid off on the exam papers!
Is EAL really easier?
So yep, EAL students get to write fewer essays and have lower word limit than mainstream students. But should we say that it’s easier? My personal opinion is: NO. The reason being learning a language that is not your mother-tongue is really never easy. Australian students doing VCE French will definitely agree with me! Given a large number of EAL students is international students, this subject can be a challenge to them. Yes, Listening might be easier than comparing texts, but taking super quick notes, picking the correct piece of info, paying attention to the way the speech is delivered, watching out for traps… are not that simple! I believe that no matter what subject you do, whether it be EAL or English or Maths… it only gets ‘easier’ after a period of constant effort and hard work.
For those eligible for both English and EAL, you might be tempted to go for EAL, but my advice is to consult available resources (the study design, this blog, teachers, peers…) before making a decision so as to figure out which style of learning best suits you. After all, you’ll learn most where you enjoy the most.
Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel García Márquez is usually studied in the Australian curriculum as a Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out our Ultimate Guide to Text Response.
---
Here, we’ll be breaking down a Chronicle of a Death Foretold essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy, a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in our How To Write A Killer Text Response study guide.
Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:
Step 1: Analyse
Step 2: Brainstorm
Step 3: Create a Plan
Let’s get into it!
The Prompt:
‘In Chronicle of a Death Foretold, the murder highlights the failings of society.’ Discuss.
THINK
Step 1: Analyse
The first thing that I identified is that this is a theme-based prompt, with the key words being ‘failings of society’ and ‘murder’.
Although the main theme is societal failure, this is a ‘discuss’ prompt - one of the most flexible types of essay questions, meaning there is an opportunity for me to explore overlapping themes in order to achieve a more in-depth analysis.
The other key word in the prompt is ‘murder’, which relates to the theme of violence. It is important that I respond to the essay topic holistically in each paragraph, meaning each paragraph should explore the correlation between the murder and societal failure, rather than using one paragraph to explore violence and another to outline the failings of society. When I start brainstorming types of societal failure, I’ll find it helpful to identify how they relate to the murder to ensure all key elements of the prompt are being addressed.
Due to the open-ended nature of the prompt, it’ll be easy to stray off topic, especially when exploring related themes in the body paragraphs. So, it’s important that I keep coming back to the prompt - and the main theme - when brainstorming, to avoid delving into an idea that steers the essay away from the prompt.
Step 2: Brainstorm
In order to respond to an essay topic with three distinctive and in-depth paragraphs, I find it helpful to brainstorm possible meanings of the key words in the context of the text and the authorial intention.
Considering that the novella is set in a small Colombian town, the ‘society’ referenced in the prompt can be interpreted to be Colombian society. Although the novella is set in the 1950s, it was published in 1981, meaning that the message Garcia Marquez conveys through the novella is intended for a more modern Colombian society than is presented in the story.
In the context of the text, examples of the ‘failings of society’ are:
The fixation on honour
The prevalence of machismo (masculine pride)
A power imbalance between both gender and class
Religious pollution
Incompetence of authority figures and the justice system
The normalisation of violence in Colombian society in the aftermath of "La Violencia" (the Colombian civil war in 1948-1958), and the subsequent guerrilla wars.
How are these elements of Colombian society portrayed to be failures by the retelling of the murder in the novella?
The fixation on honour in Colombian society gives rise to negligence of individuals’ moral responsibilities
Despite knowing of the Vicario brothers’ intention to murder Santiago Nasar, the townspeople fail to take action to save him from a violent demise, as they believe it is the duty of the Vicario brothers to avenge their sister’s honour.
The townspeople use the sanctity of honour to justify their own negligence in preventing the murder
The prevalence of machismo in a patriarchal society can result in unfit leaders in positions of power
Don Lazaro Aponte (Mayor and Colonel) is portrayed to be incompetent in the prevention and inquisition of the murder
The Mayor’s military experience and machismo values make the townspeople respect him as a leadership figure, despite his inexperience in ‘matters of the law’, highlighting the appointment of unfit leaders as a consequence of the prevalence of masculine pride in a society
There is an incompetence of authority figures in policing those who use brutality to settle disputes
Religious pollution; the hypocrisy of a predominantly Catholic society that condones violence against others
Clotilde instructs the Vicario brothers to ‘leave [Santiago Nasar] for later…out of respect for his grace the Bishop’ who is visiting the town that day, highlighting the performative nature of the townspeople’s Catholicism, as they care more for respecting the ritualistic aspects of their religion than acting morally and protecting Santiago Nasar
The Bishop - a symbol for religious and moral purity - is disengaged from the townspeople, conveying that despite their reverence and devotion, the townspeople are disconnected from the Catholic church due to their immorality (by allowing brutal violence to be enacted without stepping in)
Step 3: Create a Plan
Paragraph 1: A society that values protecting honour above all else is in danger of allowing individuals to neglect their moral duty of protecting others, using honour as a justification for their own complacency.
Paragraph 2: The townspeople’s inability to adhere to Catholic values gives rise to their callous regard for Santiago’s life.
Paragraph 3: The permittance of Santiago Nasar’s murder by authority figures was an inevitability in a town that equates masculine pride with leadership skills.
EXECUTE
Now it is time to write the essay!
Examining the dynamics of a small Colombian town dictated by Catholicism yet riddled with violence, Chronicle of a Death Foretold explores the moral failings of Colombian society, as the narrator attempts to make sense of the inexplicable circumstances surrounding the murder of Santiago Nasar twenty seven years prior (1). In his pseudo journalistic reconstruction of the crime, Garcia Marquez cautions against the dangers of a society that is fixated on misplaced values. Condemning Colombian society for their fixation on honour, Garcia Marquez contends that an excessive focus on honour can cause individuals to excuse themselves from fulfilling their moral duty (2). Further highlighting the dangerous nature of Colombian society’s obsession with honour, Garcia Marquez illustrates how the equation of masculine pride to leadership skills acts to corrupt authority, hence allowing crime to infiltrate a community (3). Garcia Marquez highlights the superficial nature of religion in Colombian society, conveying how a failure to adhere to Catholic values causes individuals to neglect the importance of human life (4). Garcia Marquez ultimately contends that Santiago Nasar’s murder was inevitable in a town corrupted by immorality (5).
Annotations (1) The opening sentence of the introduction is often referred to as a universal statement; its purpose is to provide some context about the text - for example, when and where it is set, who the intended audience is, and what key ideas or themes are explored. A text often has too many context points to include, so it is important to consider which ones are most relevant to the prompt and the contention of the essay.
(2, 3 & 4) Another key element to an introduction is outlining the key ideas of the body paragraphs, using one sentence for each body paragraph to make it clear to the reader what the structure of the essay will be. This is called signposting.
(5) Stating an overall contention in the final sentence of the conclusion can tie the three signposting sentences together and link them back to the prompt.
Castigating Colombian society for their misguided prioritisation of the protection of honour, Garcia Marquez’s depiction of the townspeople’s failure to fulfil their moral duty of protecting Santiago Nasar warns against the dangers of using honour as a justification for one’s own complacency. As the Vicario brothers search for someone to ‘stop the crime without bringing any shame on them’, looking to the townspeople for absolution from the murderous obligation imposed upon them by patriarchal society, they are left alone to face the responsibility of protecting their sister’s honour. Garcia Marquez condemns the townspeople for their negligence, conveying that a society’s acceptance of violence deems them as culpable for the crime as the perpetrators. The guilt of the townspeople is illustrated as the magistrate’s notes regarding the crime are described by the narrator as being ‘scribed in red ink’, making it ‘as if they were written in blood’. Garcia Marquez metaphorically conveys the responsibility of the townspeople, as the blood of Santiago Nasar is on their hands rather than the Vicario brothers’. This idea is further instilled as at the time of the murder the ‘knife [keeps] coming out clean’, metaphorically conveying Garcia Marquez’s view that Santiago Nasar’s death is due to the failings of the townspeople, rather than the perpetrators themselves - who have no blood on their hands (6). Garcia Marquez illustrates the consequences of Colombian society’s prioritisation of honour, as the townspeople ‘console…themselves with the pretext that affairs of honour are sacred monopolies’ (7), hence absolving themselves of any guilt for their negligence in the face of brutal violence. Garcia Marquez expresses his distaste for the wrongful justification of individuals’ acts of inhumanity for the sake of protecting honour, cautioning Colombian society against valuing the sanctity of honour above the sanctity of human life (8).
Annotations (6) When analysing quotes, a helpful strategy is considering the what, how and why. The what is what has been said (the quote), by who and in what context. The how is what techniques the author has used, for example, can you identify any literary techniques using metalanguage? In this instance, it was a metaphor. The why is considering what the authorial intention is, meaning what message the author wishes to convey to the audience.
(7) When embedding quotes, you can alter the sentence structure using ellipses and square brackets in order to make the quote fit and flow within your own writing.
(8) It is important to consider the author’s intended effect on the reader. By understanding who the intended audience of the text is, and what the author’s own views and values are, you can analyse what the author intends the audience to take away from the events within the text and consider in relation to their own lives. This is part of the ‘zooming in and out’ technique, which is also explored in LSG’s How To Write A Killer Text Response - the events from within the text would be the zooming in part, and the relation to your own life would be the zooming out part.
Further expressing his disapproval of Colombian society’s obsession with honour, Garcia Marquez contends that the permittance of Santiago Nasar’s murder by authority figures was an inevitability in a town that equates masculine pride with leadership skills (9). Set against the backdrop of La Violencia, Chronicle of a Death Foretold highlights the consequences of celebrating brute force and excessive masculinity on the moral fabric of a society. Don Lazaro Aponte (10), the town’s mayor, is portrayed as incompetent in the prevention of the murder as he regards the incident with a ‘casual attitude’. As a ‘former troop commander’, it is the Colonel’s military experience that renders him capable of fulfilling his role as Mayor in the eyes of the townspeople, illustrating the prevalence of machismo in a post-civil war Colombian society (11). Garcia Marquez conveys that, in actuality, masculine pride can cause authority figures to fail to fulfil their role, as the Colonel is ‘too conceited to ask [for help]’ when he has ‘no experience in matters of the law’. Garcia Marquez highlights the dangers of equating leadership skills with displays of masculinity through his portrayal of Santiago Nasar’s death as inevitable. Employing a non-linear narrative structure, Garcia Marquez invites the reader to consider Santiago Nasar’s death as a certainty, as they are informed from the first line of the novella that the Viacrio brothers are ‘going to kill him (12)’. Garcia Marquez urges the audience to consider how a ‘death so clearly foretold’ was allowed to happen, hence highlighting the corruption of those who hold power in the town. Garcia Marquez cautions Colombian society against the blind following of leaders who display masculine pride, contending that this does not necessarily equip them for their role.
Annotations (9) To achieve better flow in the essay, you can link the topic sentence to the previous body paragraph
(10) When brainstorming examples, it is important not to overlook minor characters in the text (such as Don Lazaro Aponte) as they can strengthen your analysis.
(11) Where relevant, further context can also be incorporated into body paragraphs in order to unpack authorial intention and illustrate to the assessor your knowledge of the text.
(12) Non-linear narrative structure is an example of a narrative mode, listed here in our metalanguage word bank for books. Narrative modes are effective in identifying and analysing, as the way the author structures the text impacts the way it affects the reader.
Highlighting the superficial nature of religion in Colombian society, Garcia Marquez contends that the townspeople’s inability to adhere to Catholic values gives rise to their callous regard for Santiago’s life. Garcia Marque explores the performative nature of religion in Colombian society through his characterisation of the Bishop, a religious leader and pillar of morality, as disengaged from the lives and wrongdoings of the townspeople. The Bishop gives a ‘mechanical’ ‘blessing…without malice or inspiration’, emphasising the disconnect between the townspeople and the Catholic church, as religious leadership separates itself from the town despite the townspeople considering themselves to be devoutly faithful. As the ‘fleeting illusion’ of the Bishop disappears, ‘all that [is] left [is] the uproar of the roosters’, a biblical symbol for denial and the need for repentance (13), symbolically alluding to the guilt of the unvirtuous townspeople that the Bishop is abandoning. Despite the town’s need for redemption, the Bishop ‘won’t even get off the boat’, illustrating (14) how the church has little hope for the indecent citizens of the town. Chronicle of a Death Foretold depicts the Catholic leadership disengaging from a society corrupted by moral decay, inviting the Colombian audience to consider their own failure to live out the Catholic values that they preach. The consequences of this religious pollution are illustrated as Clotilde tells the Vicario brothers to ‘leave [Santiago Nasar] for later…out of respect for his grace the Bishop’. Garcia Marquez intends to convey how the superficial nature of religion in Colombian society causes individuals to value ritual over human life, hence perpetuating an environment that allows for the violent murder of Santiago Nasar to be realised without intervention. Garcia Marquez warns Colombian society against the dangers of practising their faith in a superficial manner, cautioning that such practices can lead to the perpetuation of violence.
Annotations (13) Symbols are an effective literary technique to analyse, however, their meaning and intention may not be immediately clear when reading the text. Researching what a symbol is widely accepted to connote (or mean) can help you form a view on what the author intends to convey through its inclusion.
(14) When analysing the how and why of a quote, it is important to use a variety of vocabulary, such as ‘illustrates’, ‘conveys’, ‘highlights’ and ‘depicts’. This helps to avoid the essay sounding repetitive, and shows that you have a clear understanding of what the author’s intended effect on the reader is.
Garcia Marquez castigates Colombian society for their corruption of values, conveying that violent murder is an inevitability in a patriarchal society riddled with religious pollution and machismo ideals (15). By failing to give the reader a clear explanation of the events leading up to the murder of Santiago Nasar, or the extent to which certain characters are culpable, Garcia Marquez urges Colombian society to consider the destructive nature and potential consequences of their own behaviour (16).
Annotations (15) A conclusion should include a brief summary of the ideas touched on in the three body paragraphs; however, unlike in the introduction, a whole sentence for each paragraph isn’t necessarily required, as it is important not to become too repetitive.
(16) In order to finish the essay strongly, you can include a key message that the author intends the audience to take away. In this case, I suggested that Garcia Marquez intends for the audience to consider the societal failures that led to the murder, whether they find parallels to these failures in their own lives, and what the potential consequences could be for them. For more help finishing off an essay strong, check out 5 Tips for a Mic-Drop Worthy Essay Conclusion.
The Golden Age is usually studied in the Australian curriculum under Area of Study 1 - Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out our VCE Text Response Study Guide.
Summary
Even though this hasn’t been one of the more popular choices on the VCE text list, Joan London’s The Golden Age is a personal favourite of mine for a number of reasons. This is a novel about the experiences of children recovering from polio inside a convalescent home in Perth. With a sympathetic and warm approach, London tells the tragic yet brave stories of these children, as well as the stories of their parents and carers.
The novel essentially revolves around Frank Gold, a Hungarian Jew and a war refugee, and London blends his mature voice with the innocence of a coming-of-age narrative, all set against the backdrop of World War II.
As you’re reading the book, watch out for her literary or poetic language, and keep track of the story’s overall mood. These will be important considerations for text study, particularly if you are to write a creative response on this text for your SAC. With this in mind, I’ve included writing exercises throughout this blog post for you to practise writing creatively on this text.
If you are writing analytically on this text, either for your SAC or for your exam, you may still complete the exercises—each one should still be insightful for your writing in some way. Also, feel free to check the video below; it breaks down an analytical prompt for this text.
Historical Context
This novel is set in Perth during the early 1940s, which gives rise to a couple of interesting historical elements all intersecting in the book.
Crucially, the events of the novel take place for the most part while World War II is raging in Europe. This is important for understanding the backstory of the Gold family: they are Hungarian Jews who have escaped their war-torn home of Budapest to seek safety in Australia. In particular, we know that at some stage, Meyer had been taken away to a labour camp, and that Frank had had to hide himself in an attic.
Their Hungarian heritage, however, is something that distances them from other Australians, and they never really get a good chance to settle in, always feeling like they just weren’t on the same wavelength as the locals. In many ways, the story of the Golds is underpinned by tragedy—not only are they war refugees, but young Frank then contracts poliomyelitis (known to us just as polio), which forces the family to reassess all the plans they had for him to settle into an ordinary, Australian life.
However, Frank was far from the only victim of polio at the time—the entire nation was rocked by a wave of polio, with major outbreaks during the 1930s-40s. This was quite a nerve-wracking, and causing great fear for our country and its active, outdoors-y culture. The prospects of death, paralysis and permanent disability were understandably terrifying. About 70,000 people were affected, and almost half of them eventually died as a result. Almost every Australian at the time knew or knew of someone who had polio.
Task: You are Ida, composing a letter to Julia Marai after Frank’s diagnosis. Convey succinctly (in 250 words or less) what you think and how you feel.
Key Themes & Implications
I like to think that a lot of the themes in this book exist in diametric or opposing pairs. For instance, London gives Frank a voice that is wise beyond his years, yet uses it to tell a tender story of first love. She also plays on the paradox that while some characters have become isolated due to the unfortunate events that have befallen them, these very events end up becoming the thing that unite them.
Essentially, London plays with a lot of these thematic tensions, showing us that life isn’t really ever black and white, but there are whole lot of grey areas in every day life.
Central to the novel are ideas of innocence or childhood. These ideas are really explored in the friendship between Frank and Elsa, who are both on the cusp of adolescence. While they are set up as young lovers in the eyes of readers, we know that they are far too young to truly have romantic feelings for each other. In actual fact, their interactions are permeated by a sense of innocence.
However, these interactions are also punctuated by a sense of maturity, a desire for more. This is evident to the extent where nurses are getting hesitant about leaving them alone with each other (even though their parents still trust them entirely). In actual fact, these parents serve as an important point of contrast. Some manage to recapture the magic of youth even as adults—consider Ida reigniting her love for the piano, or Meyer jumping on opportunities to start anew. In this sense, innocence and maturity are a pair of themes that are interestingly not always found where one might expect.
Another key thematic element of the novel is tragedy or adversity, which are relevant to a far wider gamut of characters. Considering the story’s geographical and historical setting, it seems evident that these ideas will play a major role in the story. A particularly poignant example lies in Sullivan, who contracts polio right on the cusp of adulthood, and readers can’t help but feel a sense of loss for what might have been.
However, on the other end of this spectrum is the strength required to cope with their suffering. While Sullivan had his indefatigable sense of humour, other characters have developed different mechanisms to stay strong in the face of adversity. In some cases, you might say that they’ve transcended or risen above their tragedies, and become stronger for it.
Finally, London also tackles the idea of isolation, which can be seen as a consequence of tragedy—characters become isolated because they lose their ability to relate to others, and others feel unable to relate to them. Symbolically, the Golden Age hospital is surrounded by four roads and therefore cut off from the world, almost as if quarantined. However, the solidarity and unity of patients inside becomes a great source of strength—I’ll leave it to you to think about what London was trying to say with this!
Task: Selecting one of the above themes, write a poem from the POV of an imaginary spectator in the novel, outlining how you perceive/experience these themes in other characters. Use all five senses(how you see it, hear it, smell it, taste it, and touch/feel it)
Major Characters
I haven’t written too extensively about characters for a range of reasons: on one hand, it’s important for you to form your own interpretations about what they’re like and why they do the things they do, but on the other hand, I wanted to leave you with some key points to consider and/or some essential points about their characters to incorporate into your writing. This will allow you to hopefully feel like you’re capturing them accurately when writing your creatives, but without feeling restricted by an extensive set of traits that you have to invoke.
Frank Gold
the central character, he is cerebral, intelligent and mature (which we can tell from his narrative voice, or how he ‘sounds’)
he is, however, still very young, wide-eyed, inquisitive in spite of the tragedies which have befallen him (consider how he sees his relationship with Elsa)
also significant is the motif of his poetry; not only does it highlight his maturity, but it also acts as a way for him to voice or articulate his feelings and experiences in the hospital—you could try incorporating some poetry in your writing (either original poems or quoted from the novel)
Elsa Briggs
another central character who becomes quite attached to Frank (they are the two eldest children in the Golden Age)
she is warm, caring and selfless, demonstrating an emotional maturity beyond her years (because of having to bear the metaphorical albatross of polio)
a lot of what we know about Elsa comes from Frank’s perspective (though we do get some insight from her own, and some from her mother’s)—how does this shape the way we see her? Consider London’s use of imagery, portraying her as an angelic figure.
Ida & Meyer
Frank’s parents, Hungarian Jews, and war refugees who come to Australia to cleanse them of their pasts and to have a fresh start; some of this is purely by circumstance, but there are parts of their past that they willingly and actively eschew e.g. Ida’s piano
note that Hungary is a landlocked country in the midst of European hustle and bustle with easy access to other nations/cultures/peoples, but Australia is an island on the other side of the world—consider how this affects their sense of isolation
on the other hand, they do form new connections with people here and in their own individual ways; Ida by reclaiming her pianist talents and Meyer by taking up a new job
Task: You are Elsa, Ida, or Meyer and you’ve just discovered Frank’s poem book. What are your thoughts and feelings towards his writing? Consider the context of your chosen character’s own experiences
Minor Characters
I’m sure you’ve heard it by now, but any piece of text-based writing (creative or analytical) can be strengthened by diversifying the range of characters that you write about. Even though you’ve already differentiated yourself from most VCE students by even doing this text at all (very few people choose it, so props to you!), some inclusion of more minor characters might help to distinguish yourself further. I’ve picked some that I think are interesting to talk about, but feel free to experiment with others as well!
Sullivan
a young man who contracts a severe strand of polio right on the cusp of adulthood, thereby exemplifying the theme of tragedy—however, his sense of humour remains active in spite of his immobility, so perhaps he not only exemplifies this theme but subverts it as well
London poses the complex question of whether or not he’s actually unhappy or defeated as a result of polio; there’s no clear answer, since there’s many ways to interpret his humour (is it a sign of strength or is it a front for inner turmoils expressed through poetry?)
in addition to his humour and poetry, his relationship with his family could also be an interesting point of discussion to address some of these questions
Ann Lee
a young girl in the hospital who is quite close to Elsa (almost in a sisterly way)—how have they developed this relationship, and how does this relate to the theme of unity/companionship/human connection?
notably, she wanted to rehabilitate herself after polio took away her ability to feed the brumbies in her desert town—think about how this might represent strength as well
Julia Marai & Hedwiga
Ida’s former piano teacher and her flatmate/partner who live at the top of an apartment block in Budapest; they shelter Frank in their attic under no obligation whatsoever, but purely out of the kindness and selflessness of their hearts
again, there’s this subversion of what it means to be isolated: on one hand, their apartment is so cut off from the rest of the world below, and they lead a largely self-sufficient life together, but on the other hand, the fact that they’re together means that they’re not entirely isolated consider the power of human connection in this context as well
Task: Pick a minor character from this list and a character from the above list of major characters, and write about them meeting each other for the first time. Pick two that do not already interact closely within the novel e.g. Elsa meeting Sullivan
I hope this gives you some ideas or starting points about writing creatively on this text!
Download the PDF version of The Golden Age study guidehere.
Dissecting an A+ Essay using 'The Golden Age'
Picture this: you’re sitting down at your desk, fumbling your fingers, inspecting the new stationary that you convinced yourself you needed for year 12, resisting the urge to check your phone. Your text response SAC is in two weeks. You’re freaking out because you want, no, need an A+. You decide to write a practice essay for your English teacher. Practice makes perfect, right? You stay up for hours, pouring your heart and soul into this essay. The result? B+. Where did I go wrong?
That’s where I come in! Writing an A+ essay can be really tough without examples and specific advice. Before reading on, make sure you've read our Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Responseso you are up to scratch.
I will be explaining some basic dos and don’ts of writing an essay on The Golden Age, providing a model essay as an example.
The following prompt will be referenced throughout the post;
‘The Golden Age’ shows that everyone needs love and recognition. Discuss.
Planning: the silent killer of A+ essays
I’m sure your teachers have emphasised the importance of planning. In case they haven’t, allow me to reiterate that great planning is compulsory for a great essay. However, flimsy arguments aren’t going to get you an A+. The examiners are looking for complex arguments, providing a variety of perspectives of the themes at hand. From the above prompt, the key word is, ‘discuss’. This means that you should be discussing the prompt, not blindly agreeing with it. Make sure you don’t write anything that wouldn’t sit right with London.
DON’T
Don’t plan out basic arguments that are one-dimensional. This may give you a pass in English, but won’t distinguish you as a top-scoring student.
For example:
Paragraph 1: The children at TGA need love and recognition.
Paragraph 2: Ida and Meyer need love and recognition
Paragraph 3: Sister Penny needs love and recognition.
The above paragraphs merely agree with the statement, but don’t delve into the many aspects of the novel that could contribute to a sophisticated essay.
DO
Do create complex arguments, or paragraphs with a twist! If you can justify your argument and it makes sense, include it in your essay. There are many ways that you could answer this question, but my plan looks like this:
Paragraph 1: Frank Gold yearns for mature, adult love, not recognition from onlookers or outsiders
Paragraph 2: Ida Gold does not seek recognition from Australia, but love and validation from herself
Paragraph 3: Albert requires love from a specific kind of relationship – family, and Sullivan may view love from his father as pity which he rebukes
See the difference?
The introduction: how to start your essay off with a BANG!
Personally, I always struggled with starting an introduction. The examiners will be reading and marking thousands of essays, so if possible, starting your introduction with something other than Joan London’s ‘The Golden Age’… is a great way to make you stand out from the crowd. Having a strong start is essential to pave the way for a clear and concise essay. You could start with a quote/scene from the text! This is not essential, but it’s a great way to mix things up. This is my start:
Perhaps nothing exemplifies the power of love and recognition more than the bond between Albert Sutton and his older sister, Lizzie, in Joan London’s ‘The Golden Age’. Many of London’s characters exhibit suffering that requires compassion and support to heal and grow, to distinguish present from past. However, London explores the perspectives of such characters from different aspects of trauma, and emphasise that love and recognition do not always work to heal and mature. Frank Gold, the novel’s resident “sneaky” boy who adjusts to newfound life in the Golden Age Convalescent Home seeks love as an adult, rather than eliciting sympathy as a supposed victim. Here love and recognition are unsuccessful in amending Frank’s troubles when given from the perspective of an outsider, a judgemental onlooker. In a similar sense, Ida Gold seeks recognition not from Australia, who she views as a ‘backwater’, but validation in herself after having been ousted from her Hungarian identity. London, however, makes sure to emphasise the impact that Sullivan has on Frank Gold’s life. Sullivan, a boy only a few years older than Frank, seems content with his future, with his fate, despite his sacrifice of rugby and conventional life. There is a lacking sense of urgency for love and recognition in Sullivan’s life, rather, it appears that Sullivan accepts his fate, regardless of his father’s sympathy or support. Thus, London explores a myriad of ways in which love and recognition may or may not heal wounds inflicted upon individuals.
Remember, there are many other ways you could start your essay.
The body paragraphs: To TEEL or not to TEEL?
I’m sure you’ve heard of TEEL countless times since year 7. Topic sentence, evidence, explanation, link. The truth is that these elements are all very important in a body paragraph. However, following a rigid structure will render your essay bland and repetitive. It is also extremely important to note that you should be using evidence from multiple points in the text, and you should be making sure that your paragraphs are directly answering the question. Write what feels natural to you, and most importantly, don’t abuse a thesaurus. If you can’t read your essay without rummaging for a dictionary every second sentence, you should rewrite it. If vocabulary isn’t your strong point (it definitely isn’t mine!), focus on clean sentence structure and solid arguments. There’s nothing worse than you using a fancy word incorrectly.
DON’T
Don’t overuse your thesaurus in an attempt to sound sophisticated, and don’t use the same structure for every sentence. For example:
Prematurely in the paperback London makes an allusion to Norm White, the denizen horticulturalist of The Golden Age Convalescent Home…
That was an exaggerated example generated by searching for synonyms. As you can see, it sounds silly, and some of the words don’t even make sense. I mean, “denizen horticulturalist”…really?
DO
Do mix up your paragraph structure! If vocabulary is your weak point, focus on clean language.
Here’s mine:
Early in the novel, London makes reference to Norm White, the resident groundskeeper of The Golden Age Convalescent Home. Norm White hands Frank Gold a cigarette, “as if to say a man has the right to smoke in peace”. Here, there is a complete disregard for rule and convention, an idea that London emphasises throughout the text. This feature provides a counter-cultural experience for Frank, pushing him to realise that he is a strong human being rather than a mere victim. This is a clear contrast to the “babyishness” of the home, and is used as evidence of true humanity in an era where society judged upon the unconventional. Frank yearns for a traditional Australian life after his trauma in Hungary; “his own memory…lodged like an attic in the front part of his brain”. Hedwiga and Julia Marai’s caring of him pushed him towards fear and reluctance to trust, yet also pressured him to seek acceptance in a world that ostracises him for his Jewish heritage and polio diagnosis. This here is why Frank desires a mature, adult connection – love that regards him as an equal human being. Frank seeks Elsa’s love and company as she too loathes being reduced to a victim, an object of pity. Frank thereafter uses humour to joke of his wounds; “we Jews have to be on the lookout”. Elsa sees “a look in his eyes that she recognised”, thus their bond enables both characters to heal. London alludes that Frank requires love and recognition not from the perspective of a sorrowful onlooker, rather he longs to be recognised as a mature adult.
I firmly believe in short and sharp conclusions. Your body paragraphs should be thoroughly explaining your paragraphs, so don’t include any new information here. A few sentences is enough. Once again, write what feels natural, and what flows well.
DON’T
Don’t drag out your conclusion. Short and concise is the key to finishing well.
DO
Do write a sharp finish! Sentence starters such as, “Ultimately…” or “Thus, London…” are great.
Here’s mine:
Although trauma is often treated with love and compassion, London details different perspectives on this idea. Whilst Frank Gold requires a specific kind of recognition, Ida and Meyer seek validation in themselves and their relationship, whilst Sullivan is at ease with his fate and does not yearn sympathy from his father.
I'll finish off by giving you an exercise: brainstorm and write up a plan for the essay topic shown in the video below. I'd recommend you do this before watching Lisa's brainstorm and plan. That way, you can see which of your ideas overlapped, but also potentially see which ideas you may have missed out on. Good luck!
The Golden Age Essay Topic Brainstorm
[Video Transcript]
The takeaway message for this video will be to utilise minor characters here and there to deepen your argument. London has really developed all her characters to feel three-dimensional and real, so it’s important not to just write about Frank and Elsa when there are so many others worth touching on.
Let's head straight into background information:
Joan London’sThe Golden Age is a novel about children recovering from polio in a convalescent home in Perth. She tells the stories of these various children, their families, and their caretakers, focusing on FrankGold and Elsa Briggs, the young protagonists who are just starting to develop romantic feelings for each other. Though they, and many of the other children, have faced much hardship and misfortune, London tells a story of hope and human connection in times of misery.
On that note, today’s essay topic is:
The Golden Age is primarily a tragic tale of isolation. Discuss.
Let’s break this prompt down and define some keywords. The keywords we’ll be looking at first are isolation and tragic. We’ll be defining them quite briefly, but be sure to think about these in terms of how they relate to the novel. In particular, see if any scenes, passages or characters jump to mind.
Isolation is a state of being alone or away from others and can be associated with a sense of powerlessness or insignificance. Tragic can simply just mean sad, depressing and loaded with sorrow or ‘pathos’, but there are also literary implications to this word: you might’ve done a tragic Shakespeare play and learned this before, but in general, a tragic story centres on a hero who encounters misfortune, and treats their demise in a serious or solemn way. Note that a good essay will discuss both these terms, and will address not only isolation but also the question of whether or not it is treated tragically.
The other important word is ‘primarily’. This word in the prompt suggests that The Golden Age is for the most part about these ideas - for you, that means you should ask yourself how central you think they are, and make a call on whether they are the most central.
Well, it’s definitely true that elements of isolation and separation do exist in The Golden Age, but these themes are not primarily tragic ideas in the novel -London explores the way in which hope can shine through in times of hardship. In fact, the novel overall has a message of kinship and hope, and this would be the primary thematic focus, as well as the main treatment of otherwise tragic ideas. So how might this look in paragraphs?
Paragraph 1: Let’s concede that the novel does evoke sadness through its frequently sombre tone and treatment of isolation
We see this through characters such as Ida and Meyer, who have been cut off from the world in their escape from their war-torn home, and forced to transition from their landlocked Hungary to an island on the other side of the globe. Their struggle to adjust is evoked through symbols - for instance, black cockatoos, which represent a “homely, comforting” omen to locals, sound “melancholy [and] harsh” to Ida. In particular, London’s solemn characterisation of Ida as constantly “frowning”, and as having a “bitter little mouth that usually gripped a cigarette ”works to emphasise her ennui or her dissatisfaction with being cut off from the world. Their homesickness is evoked through this constant longing for home, though sometimes much more literally: Meyer feels that “never again on this earth…would, he feel at home as he once had.”
Similarly, the story of Sullivan Backhouse, confined in an “iron lung” and physically isolated from outside contact, is also primarily tragic. London develops this character and gives him a backstory - he has “just turned eighteen” and had been the “prefect [and] captain of the rowing team.” This gives readers an idea of the life he might have had if not for the tragedy of his condition. Even in spite of his “good-humoured nature”, his poetry belies the pessimism within - his book, morbidly entitled “on my last day on earth”, closes with the line “in the end, we are all orphans.” We can thus see how lonely he must have felt when he tragically passed away.
In this paragraph, we’ve considered three different characters, whereas a lot of people writing on this text might just do a character per paragraph, so this is a good way to really show the examiners that you’ve considered the full extent of what the book offers. Let’s continue this as we move onto…
Paragraph 2: We disagree, however, since the novel includes various other moods and thematic material - in particular, London explores notions of resolve and hope in times of hardship
Now, the first character that comes to mind would have to be Elsa - London uses particularly powerful imagery, such as her “translucent”, “golden wave” of hair or even her “profile, outlined in light”, to portray her as angelic or elysian. For the children, Elsa evidently represents hope - even in her state of isolation, her “graceful and dignified” demeanour and her quiet acceptance that polio “was part of her” is courageous and worthy of admiration.
Moving onto a minor character who was perhaps inspired by Elsa - the young Ann Lee, who was quite close to Elsa, also has a story which is more inspiring than tragic. When polio first crippled her, she found herself unable to give water to the brumbies in her desert town. As a result, she perseveres, “step after painstaking step” so as to be able to return home and “give a drink to thirsty creatures.” Her compassion and determination to work against her isolation become the focus of her tale.
Paragraph 3: In fact, the novel’s focus is on hope rather than tragedy
A range of other characters demonstrate the power of love and human connection in the face of adversity, and London seems to be focusing on these ideas instead. Plus, it’s not just the children who are brave in the face of tragedy, but ordinary people prove themselves to have the potential for strength and courage. Take Julia Marai and Hedwiga, who hide Frank in their attic during the Nazi invasion of Hungary. Even though their apartment is “on the top” of the block, and isolated in its height, suspended from the world, they become “provider[s]” for Frank. London writes that in difficult times, “kindness and unselfishness were as unexpected, as exhilarating, as genius,” and it’s easy to see how these qualities form a counterpoint to the tragedies that permeate the novel, allowing hope to shine through.
And that’s the end of the essay! Being able to explore minor characters like we did here is a really good way to show examiners that you have a deeper understanding of a text, that you’ve considered it beyond just the main characters on the surface. The Golden Age is a really great one for this because London has done so much with her cast.
Essay topics
1. “Being close made them stronger.” In The Golden Age, adversities are tempered by camaraderie. Do you agree?
2. Despite the grim context, The Golden Age highlights and celebrates the potential of life. Discuss.
3. Memories of past successes and failures have significant lingering effects on characters in The Golden Age. Is this an accurate assessment?
4. “[I would be] a fox, following a Palomino.” How do animals such as these contribute symbolically to The Golden Age?
5. It is largely loneliness which defines the struggles of the children in The Golden Age. Discuss.
6. In what ways is The Golden Age a novel of displacement?
7. Fear of the unknown is something which permeates The Golden Age. Is this true?
8. What is the role of family in Joan London’s The Golden Age?
9. Isolation in The Golden Age exists in many oppressive forms. Discuss.
10. Throughout The Golden Age, London draws attention to beauty rather than to suffering. Discuss.
11. In spite of their youth, it is the children of The Golden Age who understand best what it means to be an individual in the world. Do you agree?
12. How do characters from The Golden Age learn, grow and mature as the novel takes its course?
13. Due to the range of different onset stories, each of the children and their families in The Golden Age face a different struggle with their identity. Discuss.
14. “Home. She hadn’t called Hungary that for years.” In spite of all their struggle, the Golds never truly feel any sense of belonging in Australia. To what extent do you agree?
15. Explore the factors which drive Joan London’s characters to persevere.
Most assessments require you to write essays using formal language. In English writing, there are two main styles of writing – formal and informal. The primary purpose of formal language is to achieve sophistication and clarity. Although the difference between the two styles is relatively straightforward, we’ll point out some common examples to just to make sure that you don’t slip and make an unnecessary mistake. Consider these two examples:
Example 1 : We cordially invite you to the Year 12 formal.
Example 2 : Hey buddy! Wanna go to the dance?
It is clear that example 1 is formal while example 2 is informal. The vocabulary, tone, and syntax are all things that change depending on the style you wish to adopt. Informal language isn’t always a ‘taboo’ though. Creative pieces and persuasive pieces can be written informally, for example, if it is a personal diary or an advertisement respectively. If you’re unsure, the easiest way to separate the two is to question whether or not you would say the phrase in real-life conversations. If it’s a yes, then it’s most likely informal language. Below are some more specific examples of the differences between formal and informal writing:
Formal: Avoids using colloquial words/phrases
Informal: May use colloquial words/phrases
Formal: Avoids contractions (write out full words – was not, did not, had not etc.)
Informal: May use contractions (wasn’t, didn’t, hadn’t etc.)
Formal: Usually written in third person (Sharon, Ben, they, them etc.)
Informal: May use first (I, me etc.), second (he, she etc.) or third person (as above).
Formal: Specific words (such as, large, items, etc.)
Informal: Imprecise words (like, big, things, etc.)
Formal: Avoids cliches (many, etc.)
Informal: May use cliches (loads of, etc.)
Formal: Avoids addressing readers using second person pronouns (the readers, an individual, one’s etc.)
Informal: May address readers using second person pronouns (you, your, etc.)
Formal: Avoids using abbreviated words (write in full – photograph, television, etc.)
Informal: May use abbreviated words (photo, TV, etc.)
Informal: May use imperative voice (remember to…etc.)
Formal: May use passive voice (it has been noted that…etc.)
Informal: May use active voice (we note that…etc.)
Formal: May use longer and more complex sentences.
Informal: May use short and simple sentences.
When writing essays ensure that you stick to one or the other. Mixing the two ways of writing will negatively impact the readability of your essay, and also the assessor’s reflection of the writer.
Text Response can be difficult because there are many different aspects of the text you need to discuss in an intellectual and sophisticated manner. The key points you need to include are stated in the VCAA Text Response criteria as shown below:
the ideas, characters and themes constructed by the author/director and presented in the selected text
the way the author/director uses structures, features and conventions to construct meaning
the ways in which authors/directors express or imply a point of view and values
the ways in which readers’ interpretations of text differ and why.
We have explored some of the different criterion points in past blog posts, but this time we’ll be focusing on number 3,
the ways in which authors/directors express or imply a point of view and values.
Views: How the author sees something
Opinion
Perspective
Way of thinking
Impression
Observation
Values: How the author thinks about something
principles
moral
ethics
standards
In VCE, simply exploring themes and character development is not enough to score yourself a higher-graded essay. This is where discussion on ‘views and values’ comes in. Essentially this criterion urges you to ask yourself, ‘what are the author’s beliefs or opinion on this particular idea/issue?’ All novels/films are written to represent their author’s views and values and, as a reader it is your job to interpret what you think the author is trying to say or what they’re trying to teach us. And it’s not as hard as it seems either. You’ve instinctively done this when reading other books or watching movies without even realising it. For example, you’ve probably walked out of the cinemas after thoroughly enjoying a film because the ideas explored sat well with you, ‘I’m glad in Hunger Games they’re taking action and rebelling against a totalitarian society’ or, ‘that was a great film because it gave insight on how women can be just as powerful as men!’ Therefore, it is possible in this case that the author of this series favours the disintegration of tyrannical societies and promotes female empowerment.
Views and values are also based on ideas and attitudes of when it was written and where it was set – this brings both social and cultural context into consideration as well. Issues commonly explored include gender roles, racial inequality, class hierarchy, and more. For example, Margaret Atwood’s Cat’s Eye, is set during the 20th century and explores feminism through women’s roles during World War II while Emily Bronte’sWuthering Heights depicts the divide between social classes and challenges the strict Victorian values of how society condemns cross-class relationships, in particular between Catherine and Heathcliffe.
Questions to ask yourself when exploring views and values:
Is the author supporting or condeming/critising this idea?
Through which literary devices are they supporting or condemning/critising the idea?
Which characters represent society’s values? Which ones oppose them? Do we as readers favour those that represent or oppose society’s values?
Does the author encourage us to support the morals and opinions displayed by the characters or those supported in that setting/time?
Here’s a sample discussion on the author’s views and values:
‘…Dickens characterises Scrooge as being allegorically representative of the industrial age in which he lived. Scrooge describes the poor as ‘surplus population’, revealing his cruel nature as he would rather they die than having to donate money to them. Dickens critiques the industrial revolution whereby wealth lead to ignorance towards poor as the upperclassmen would easily dismiss underclassmen, feeling no responsibility to help them as they believed they were of no use to society. ‘ (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens)
Here’s a list of some sample essay prompts you may get in regards to exploring ‘views and values’:
‘Cat’s Eye shows us that society’s expectations are damaging to women.’ To what extent do you agree? (Cat’s Eye, Margaret Atwood)
‘Bronte criticises the social class conventions of her time as she demonstrates that those in the lower classes can succeed.’ (Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte)
‘Social criticism plays a major role in A Christmas Carol.’ (A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens)
‘Hamid shows that it is difficult to find our identity in modern society, with the ever-changing social and politics surrounding us.’ (The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Mohsin Hamid)
‘In Ransom Malouf depicts war as the experience of grief, loss and destructive waste. The event of war lacks any heroic dimension. Discuss.’ (Ransom, David Malouf)
Although it appears on criteria sheets, many students never really understand the term metalanguage. Strangely, it is something that is rarely addressed in classrooms. While the word may be foreign to you, rest assured that metalanguage is not an entirely new concept you have to learn. How come? Because you have been unknowingly using metalanguage since the very beginning of high school.
It's a term that is thrown around more and more frequently as you advance through high school, and it becomes tremendously important in your final year (Year 12) because the more you include metalanguage discussion in your essays, the more intricate and unique your discussions become.
So, what is metalanguage?
2. Definition of Metalanguage
Metalanguage is language that describes language.
Here’s an example to show you what we mean. When you’re reading a text, you might notice that the author has employed language techniques to make their writing more powerful or engaging. Instead of simply saying ‘He was sad’, an author might write ‘His chest ached with a hollow weight’. While the meanings of these phrases are similar, that shift in wording paints a picture, sets a tone, and draws us into the character’s inner world. When analysing how an author does this, you use metalanguage - terms like metaphor, tone or imagery - to describe their writing. In short, metalanguage helps you move beyond discussing what the writer says and into how they say it, which is exactly what your essays should aim to do.
Another way to explain this is to focus on Language Analysis (a.k.a. Argument Analysis or Analysing Argument). In Language Analysis, you look at the author’s writing and label particular phrases with persuasive techniques such as symbolism, imagery or personification. Through your description of the way an author writes (via the words symbolism, imagery or personification), you have effectively used ‘language that describes language’.
Now, if you look at the bigger picture, understanding metalanguage can also help you improve your own writing. When you’re working on Creating Texts or Oral Presentations, you should aim to incorporate language techniques in your writing in order to convey meaning or establish a tone. The better your understanding of metalanguage, the more tools you have in your arsenal to strengthen your writing. With metalanguage under your belt, you’ll be able to look at your own creative writing and decide: hmmm, I think I need a bit more imagery in this description! Or when working on Oral Presentations, you’ll think: you know what? I’m going to start my speech off with an anecdote that appeals to my audience’s sense of sympathy!
Take note that some metalanguage terms are specific to a writing form, such as camera angle for films, whereas other terms, like symbolism, can apply to any writing form (film, novels, plays, etc.)
Novel
Tone
Narrator
Grammar and punctuation
Characterisation
Foreshadowing
Symbolism
Novel-based examples:
Achilles is characterised as a foetus, for his position is ‘chin down, shoulders hunched’ as though he is inside a womb. (Ransom, David Malouf)
In the first scene of All About Eve*, Mankiewicz foreshadows Eve's sinful and regretful actions, as a sorrowful expression is emphasised as she accepts her award
As you can see, the word 'foreshadows' pushes us in a new direction. Rather than just saying what has already happened or telling your teacher or examiner something that they already know, it forces you to actually analyse what the author is trying to do and to offer your own unique interpretation of why this metalanguage or why this technique has been used.
When Terry leaves Friendly’s bar, the thick fog symbolises his clouded moral judgement as he decides whether he should remain ‘D and D’, or become a ‘rat’. (On the Waterfront, Elia Kazan)
Play
Stage direction
Soliloquy
Monologue
Prop
Motifs
Play-based examples:
The miniature set Zac creates is designed with a white backdrop, symbolising his desire to wipe away reality since he ‘can’t stand real things'. (Cosi, Louis Nowra)
In Medea, the motif of animals emphasises the inhuman and bestial nature of Medea, highlighting how she defies natural norms.
This student has actually given us an analysis of why animal motifs are used. And that is to highlight how Medea defies natural norms, because of her inhuman and bestial nature.
As you discuss themes or characters, you should try and weave metalanguage throughout your body paragraphs. The purpose of this criterion is to demonstrate your ability to understand how the author uses language to communicate his or her meaning. The key is to remember that the author’s words or phrases are always chosen with a particular intention - it is your job to investigate why the author has written a text in a particular way.
5. Video
We recap all of the above and go into more detail about metalanguage in the video below. Check it out if you’d like to explore this topic in more depth:
Get exclusive weekly advice from Lisa, only available via email.
Power-up your learning with free essay topics, downloadable word banks, and updates on the latest VCE strategies.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
latest articles
Check out our latest thought leadership on enterprise innovation.